Powers 27 Letter Column!!

You know I had to publish it. Sorry to those of you here for my normal, slightly helpful? Q.A. column. I am attempting to build an audience now. I can't be as much of a dick as I am to Brian Bendis's audience. We are used to his abuse and love it. Let me know if you would prefer verbal abuse from me and honest advice from Lauren and Nessa. It could be arranged.

I have to preface this with the email I got from Bendis after I sent him my column:

"mary!! you did a great job!! wow! seriously, i didn't know what we were going to get. bravo. but brace yourself for myspace weirdos. i would even tell you to rethink the plug, but you can handle it. you're aces, babe!"

Sweet Jebus did Bendis just tell me I am aces? I am glad I am wearing a wetsuit.

Transcribed for you below is my Powers 27 letter column. I know my Powers fans found me via this but I have a few other readers now that should go buy Powers 27. Not just for my letter column either.

Now you remember the Powers Letter Column Contest? It went a little something like this…

POWERS LETTER COLUMN WRITING CONTEST!!

As has been obvious since Powers moved to Icon, I have long since run out of letter column jokes!! So I thought a bullshit brilliant thing to do would be to make a contest out of having people write the letter column for me!
If you (yes, you!) would like to author an upcoming Powers letter column… meaning that you (yes, you!) get to answer the letters to Powers yourself, in your voice, in your own way… if you’d like to take the letter column as your forum to express yourself to the right-minded, comic-buying public who still buy Powers in single issues, then this is your chance!!
All you need to do is write a 25 word OR LESS (NOT MORE!!) essay on why you (YES YOU!) should be the author of the most influential letter column in my life!
Send your essay to the e-mail or snail mail above! (But honestly, if you send it snail mail I won’t even bother opening it and will probably just give it to my house boy Po Po who will whack off on it and eat it.)
Send in your essay and all of the finalists will be published right here and then a winner will be chosen at random. The winner will be given dozens of letters to choose from,for which he or she, but probably a he it is comics, will be able to craft his genius for all to see.
The winner will not only get the opportunity to allow me more time to fuck up the Marvel Universe but will receive all ten Powers trades signed by me or someone very close by.
So send in your essay today!! Contest ends when I have to write the next one of these fucking things!
And between e-mail, MySpace and psychic powers, I was deluged with responses. Pummeled. But alas there can only be one winner.
And that winner is… MaryPants!!!

Her 25 word essay read like this:

I love all your stuff. That is all.

Oh and by the way I am a girl, hot and I'll have sex with you and your wife. Shit, I'll move into your basement and be your au pair to boot.

And thanks for Powers and Spidey. I fucking love you. Cry myself to sleep. Think of Bendis fucking me.

Now that is how you win a contest!!!

I told Mary she won and she responded with…

Hey genius,

I admit to being almost ridiculous but I need to point this out. I will do anything beyond writing one letter column. I would write all your letter columns from here until eternity. I will give you blow jobs at command. I would still love to fuck you and your wife, of course! Or just you. I won't tell if you won't. I bet that is a change from fanboys that want to blow you.

Oeming is going to be in my city for FallCon. I can't offer myself to him like I would to you though. My weakness is for that writer that make my panties wet. Hey, I like your art too, don't get me wrong. I bought my Powers 25 with your cover art. I love all your words though. Mmmm....sweet words. Jeez...is that too dirty? Oh wait, I am writing to Bendis.

Naked, hot, wet, delicious love,

Mary


OK, so I haven’t been this sexually terrified of a woman since that girl who almost broke my penis during sex in the early nineties. Hi, Kim!!

(Come on, is fucking Savage Dragon going to give a near broken penis shout-out in his column, huh? )

(Editor’s note: But you will find a funny broken penis story in Wonderlost 2 from Image!)

So let’s see if you guys fare any better with her. This is all Mary. I’m not going to edit or anything…

Mary… they are all yours!

Thanks Bendis. You now join the legion of men that are sexually terrified by me. This is why I never had dates in high school, isn't it? Damn.

Jacob Long

My name is Jacob Long. I am a huge fan of yours. I have read almost every Ultimate Spider-Man comic and am working on The New Avengers. Your Spider-Man comics have helped me a lot. I am a lot like Peter Parker (well except for the spider-man thing). I am the nerd at my school and the comics have helped me come through with any problems I have faced before. You have also helped inspire me with writing. I love to write everyday and hope to be able to get a job at Marvel when I am old enough and have had enough experience.

You are my favorite comic book writer. Like I said before I love your work. I was wondering if you could send me an Ultimate Spider-Man comic signed by you (any issue would be fine). I would really appreciate it. I understand if you can't. My address is,

I'm sure you will go far with the benefit of a name like Jacob Long.

You may want to re-read those ULTIMATE SPIDEYS you cherish and admire so much if you think you’re a lot like Peter Parker. Consider the following:

**Do you have a HOT girlfriend? If so, is she THE HOTTEST FUCKING GIRL IN SCHOOL???
**Do you have a HOT girl who happens to share your house? If so, is she the SECOND HOTTEST FUCKING GIRL IN SCHOOL???
**Be honest, are any of the 15 year-old girls in your school as smoking hot as they are rendered in ULTIMATE SPIDEY? If so, do they even bother to cross the hallway to spit on you?

THANKS FOR READING ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN!!! A new trade will be out soon. Please delay any suicide attempt this response may unintentionally encourage.

James

I am an avid comic book reader, and a philosophy student at Nottingham University in England. As I'm in my final year of study, I have to write a dissertation and I thought it might be cool to look at the philosophy of a superhero. My ideas are all roughly based around an idea of should superheroes be regulated, or does their very nature mean they have to be vigilantes? So, quite a lot like Civil War in many respects. (I did have another idea, although I think it may be harder to write - Would Superman still be Superman if he hadn't landed in Kansas?)

I have to submit this plan, and a short reading list to get it approved, so I was wondering if, as you work in the comic book/superhero industry, there was any direction I should go in? Do you know of any literature, or have any ideas on this subject yourself, or even know of any comics which discuss this idea? I guess philosophical works don't have to be written in prose in the Eighteenth Century anymore!

Also, if there's any other creators/people that you think I should get in contact with, would it be possible to point me their way?

Obviously you're a busy guy, but I figure the amount of comics you put out a month, you've got to be pretty wired. But anyway, any help you can give me would be really appreciated.

Congratulations on being so close to getting your philosophy degree! Enjoy your future as a parking lot attendant.

Perhaps you should contact Mark Millar instead of Brian Bendis about those interesting ideas you have since he's already fucking done them.

Superman would still be Superman if he hadn't landed in Kansas. Unless he landed in Mexico. Then he would be Fabulosohombre.

David

So I've gone from a kid who never read comics (with the exception of Edlund's original Tick comics-- but they hardly count) to an adult who self consciously calls them graphic novels and, apparently, writes their authors to see when the next edition is coming out. What can I say? You find a copy of THE SANDMAN lying around, next thing you know, your friend is lending your DAREDEVIL. You get copies of POWERS trade paperbacks 1 - 3 and then it's all downhill from there. Good stuff. I've been eagerly awaiting Volume 10 of the POWERS trade paperback. Any word on this? What about 11? I didn't see anything on the FAQ or message boards on your site about this. I suppose I could get the individual comics, but it's just not the same to me.Hope you're well. Thanks for the stories.

If you don't read the individual comics, why the fuck should I answer your letter? How will you see it?

Jesse Holt

I've been searching for a graphic novel that I read as a kid in the early 80's. The bad thing is I don't remember the name or the publisher or even the illustrator. Being that you're deeply entrenched in the world of comics, I was hoping that you might shed some light on this.Can I send you a short description of the graphic novel in the hopes that you might know what it is?Thank you for your consideration.

Don't bother sending a description. The book you were thinking of is 'FISH POLICE'. You had pretty terrible taste as a kid.

Rob Jensen

So much for the "Why I Should Write the Powers Letter Column" contest. I
can't do 25 words or less. So I'll just go onto another subject -- and remember,
I have an inability to get to the point and I just want to remind you that if you're
going to Comic-Con, I'll try to find you at one of your signings and introduce
myself (again -- I've already had you sign my Powers v1 #1, among other comics):

Okay, so it's Wednedsay night, May 9th a full week after The CW announced
its terrible decision to cancel Gilmore Girls. The network walked away from talks
for a shortened 13-episode 8th season to finish up the show even though the so
scorchingly hot-and-funny-you-should-cast-her-as-Jessica-in-the-Alias-movie
Lauren Graham asked the writers to pull back from a big series-ender
storyline because she thought it was going to go another season. And now
I read the letter column in the new issue of Powers (#24, of course -- and is that
guy with the thorny head Jesus or the Antichrist? I'm a little slow on the uptake?)
and I see your quote-of-the-month is Lorelai's expression of her thought processes
as ramble of "Hockey puck, rattlesnake, monkey monkey, underpants!!!!" (great
choice of quote by the way) and I also remember your plug for the Gilmore Girls
DVDs in the column a few months back (and then the plug for Gg DVDs two
years ago.)

So could you just help us at http://www.gilmoregirls.org/ in our efforts to try to uncancel
Gilmore Girls?

I'm NOT asking you to post there or anything because, well, I sure as heck don't
want you to blow any deadlines or anything (not that you would because you're
perfectly capable of writing a gazillion tittles a month), but what we're doing is
various ways of sending real daisies to Dawn Ostroff, President of Entertainment
the CW (and to Lauren and Alexis if you want to)? We've already had a Daisy
Campaign of people pooling their resources through PayPal, but there's also
a Do-It-Yourself version of the campaign called "Operation: Daisy Duke" -- I
named it for all of the Dukes of Hazzard references in the show -- and the
daisies are, yeah, a reference to "Love, Daisies and Troubadours," the finale
of season 1.

All I'm askin' is for you to send your OWN order of yellow daisies, however big
a bouquet you want, through your local florist -- your money, your call, to

Ms. Dawn Ostroff, President of EntertainmentThe CW Television Network4000 Warner Blvd., Bldg 168Burbank, CA 91522-0002

And just help us by reminding them that you're Bendis! and that you're part
of the Great Season 8 Mandate Campaign. It's still a week before the CW's
Upfronts as I'm writing this and I'm guessing from the number of options on
your own stuff that are floating around Hollywood, that they'd recognize you
and that'd be excellent clout to have on our hands given that the show was
cancelled so quickly, so abruptly and so late in the game that even through
Lauren's spin for the studio in interviews, she's clearly upset at the cancellation.

If you know of anyone else in the industry (like, oh, Joe Quesada or that Avon
guy or someone) who likes the show, have them send yellow daisies to Ostroff
or Lauren or Alexis (the latter two via Warner). Any help that you guys could do
fast would help and be greatly appreceiated -- and note: Lorelai's boyfriend Jason
in season 4 was a fan of Spider-Man.

And, hey, with your ability at revealing character through witty comedic dialogue,
ask them if you could script an episode or two of season 8?

PS: What the fuck (see, I can swear) is taking so long with the Jinx movie?

Is Charlize just sitting on it or what? If she is, could you just go give it to Lauren Graham and her own production company, Good Game?

I like thinking about Charlize sitting on things. Things like my face.

Besides Rob, the only people into Gilmore Girls anymore are lesbians, little girls, and bald comic book writers. Don't worry though; Gilmore Girls will be in reruns on Lifetime until the end of days.

Try to thinking of Charlize sitting on my face to get you through the tough times. Always works for me.

Andy Turk
You call 25 words an “essay.” It took you more words to describe the contest. I am sure I could do better than . . . ah, damn!

Nice try Andy! Now only if you had vag and offered to blow Bendis & fuck his wife, I'm sure you could have been a contender.

Sean Godown
IT1(AW) USN

I'm a military member stationed overseas doing my part to fight the war on terrorism. Although not in the frontlines in Iraq, i can say that it definitely is a stressful environment to be in when terrorists are targeting you simply because you are an American. I can tell you with complete confidence that one of the things that eases my mind from the troubles around me has definitely got to be reading comics. You have become a favorite of mine in regards to the work that you do and the talent that you have in your fingers to bring some of the most amazing characters to life! I've been an avid follower of Spiderman and Dare Devil for many years. So it really is remarkable to see how the character develop over the years and what each writer's vision of the characters and plots they put on the storyline. I'm a big fan of your Ultimates work! I've always been fascinated with superheroes since I was a kid and comics was what I grew up reading. Unfortunately they don't have a big selection of comic books on base nor out in town here in Europe. I've always had a passion for drawing myself, but could never get a hang of it.

I know you must get a ton of fan letters and you might not have time to read or respond to them all. I was wondering if there is any possibility you would be willing to send me a signed drawing or signed comic? Or if I sent you a photo or comic book for you to sign if you would do me the honor of signing it for me?? I certainly appreciate you taking the time to read this and considering my request.

My mental image: Sean jerking off in the barracks, half military clad, to a signed Bendis comic like it is a picture of his girl back home.

Jason
Mr. Bendis,
It has come to my attention that your letter writing contest is nothing but a shame. Therefore, I am writing this to formally withdraw my proposal to write your letter column.

PS

I'll write it if you really want.

Fuck you Jason. I am a not a SHAME. Except to my mother. Now if you accused me of being a sham that would be a different story altogether.

Richard Lott
I'm currently working on a comic book idea and I wanted to ask a professional. I'm sure you get this a lot but I was curious what's the best way for an aspiring comic book artist and writer to get into the industry? I've been considering doing a serialized version of the comic book in mind, setting up a website and featuring it as downloadable content in pdf format or something like. What would to suggest? Thank you for your response hopefully,

How to write a comic: Quit writing to comic writers and write a comic instead.

Steven Casey Murray

I'm a big fan of your work, my name is Steven Murray and I'm from Bath in the United Kingdom, I go to University here, doing creative writing.

I was wondering if you could offer me any advice on getting my comic idea's printed? I'd love to work for Marvel as a writer and wondered if you had any advice for UK writers? Maybe you could put in a word for me over here for work experience (wink wink - nudge nudge).

What I really wanted to say was - would you please bring GWEN STACY back into ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN - you made her a great character (making MJ the boring one this time lol) and it was such a shame. You could even work it so that she is Carnage and fights Spiderman, and that would add this huge emotional element to the fight. And then she could get cured and come back as a love threat to MJ, instead of just being killed off again. I love her character soooooooooo much and everyone keeps offing her lol.

If not would you be so kind as to send me a picture of Gwen alive and happy, so I can sob over it every night (please try not to feel guilty as you tear my fave charcter out of one of my fave titles). You could make it out to me.

Dear Steven, here's Gwendie - I'm eternally sorry for the heartache I've caused you,
Brian.

In all seriosness though PLEASE bring her back (you guy's bring back dead characters all the time and I'm not talking clones lol.

I love your work and I loved Gwen in Ultimate Spidey, and I think what I just said would be great, come on you have to admit it? Don't you? lol.

I'd love to hear back from you on any of the comments I've made.

Here is an idea Steven; wallpaper your bedroom with a collage of all your favorite Gwen drawings stuck together with your spooge. Call it your own mixed media art.

Also, I am afraid your use of lol has rendered me sterile. I am pretty sure I felt my ovaries wither and die while reading your letter. Hope you are real proud of yourself for halting a cute nerdy girl from procreating. We are already a fairly short commodity.

spartan.117.72@gmail.comWould you be interest in an unpublished scenario for Ultimate Spider-Man ? We invented a new exclusive character for Marvel Universe. I like your USM very much of course. If you want more precisions please contact us. See you

Thank you to answer

This is written in the now infamous porn junk email writing style:
“Big penis are very hard inside large vagina…I like Man of Spider…U BAI GOLD K THX BAI!”

My interest in seeing your unpublished scenario is low. Especially considering you even can’t write an email. Pretty much, just fuck off.

Now if instead of precisions, you said handjobs, you could have been on your way to success in the comic industry!

hernando diaz
the greeting and I congratulate you by your work in comics.moreover, manifest my admiration towards your work, for this reason ,
i want that you help me with one of my personages. since serious for my an honor.

This is some disturbingly beautiful poetry. I sense an almost a haiku-like quality in the last three lines.

Wyatt Sommers

I am big fan of your work, and I think you awesome writer. I think House Of M and your time on Daredevil were my favorite, but I wanted to ask you something: How did you get into being writer for comics? Did you start off writing for other things beside comics? The reason why I' am asking is because I myself enjoy writing and I hope to one day have my writing published into comic, so I was hoping to see if one of my favorite writers had any ideas how to start in the business of writing for comics.

Only eight people EVER have made a success of being a comic writer. Your chances of getting bird flu are higher. I recommend retail.

Duane Thomas

Hi, fellow free-lance writer here (though I make my living writing articles for gun magazines, not best-selling comic books). Strange, off-the-wall question here, but I have a memory - perhaps the memory equivalent of a hallucination - that at one time you were rumored to have made a proposal for Wild Dog to DC Comics. Actually, though he's certainly one of the more obscure heroes out there, I always had a certain sneaking fondness for Wild Dog, and, one would think, in our post-9/11, War on Terror world, the narrative possiblities for the character seem immense.

Freelance for a gun magazine, eh? Oh, Duane Thomas! Sure, I have read all your stuff. I think you are such a super great writer. I think you are a real nice guy. Or a real badass. Whatever you like better, Duane!

Please don't kill me with the rest of your militia.

Kbuboo1@aol.com
Listen I am a Die hard fan of the halo series. I love the story, and have read all the books. But a horrible mistake has been made that I would like you, being the writer of Halo Uprising to shed some light on. In the final cut scene of halo 2 Master Chief’s gloves had 5 round indentations on them. But at the beginning of the comic book Halo Uprising, which takes place right after the conclusion of Halo 2, he has different gloves which have 3 round indentations on them. Please the Halo story line is very dear to me and I would like an explanation if you can. Please e-mail the explanation back to me.

You’ve never been laid, have you? Eat some pussy and these concerns will melt away. Or accept that your overanalytical nature may ruin fiction for you. Try some nonfiction. Try history. There are fewer pictures but history is really cool to read.

Ryan K. Alves

My name is Ryan Alves and i am a freshman at Uk. I am taking a journalism 101 course and have been given the assignment to find and report on my dream job. I have grown up loving comic books and spend most of my days dreaming, usually while i supposed to be doing algebra, about writing for the big names of Batman, The X-Men, and my personal favorite Wolverine. And since you are one of my favorite writers i was wondering if i could ineterview you and ask a few questions through email. I need some advice about getting involved in writing comic books. Right now emailing writers like yourself seems to be my only lead. If you could get back in touch with me then it would be great and very much appreciated. i hope this is not to much trouble for you! thanks again!

Maybe instead of emailing writers, you should try starting out with gentle strokes and kisses. It's all interview, interview, interview with you. You never even tell me I'm pretty anymore.
Or you could just Google "BENDIS INTERVIEW" and plagiarize to your hearts content. I guarantee at least a B-.

Pieter de Boer

Hello Mr. Brian Michael Bendis ,I'm just started with a new hobby , namely collecting photographs with signature.Could you send me a signed photograph.Perhaps are you the first one abroad who send me one,I appreciate it very much.You can instead of take it to the post , send it by email ( a digital photo with signature ).

be lucky , and do fine !

With gentle greetings ,

Gentle greetings accepted and returned. I am lucky and I do do fine. I hope you are also being lucky and doing fine. I am only a contest winner. I will try now right here and now to get you your signed photograph.

Hey Bendis, can this creepy dude have an autographed photograph?***
***Do not give this guy your autographed photograph. Give it to me. I will only masturbate to it. I think Pieter is going to make a mask of it to wear while chanting “Do you want to fuck Bendis?” in the mirror to himself.

Matt Dicker

I have come to the moment that many comic book lovers come to; I have decided to try to write my own comic script. Since I got into comics a short while ago, you have been one of my favorite writers,especially for your work on Daredevil and Ultimate Spidey.

I have looked at a number of books about comics writing, but most are by writers who are from a different era and either aren't writing anymore or aren't writing very often. I was wondering if it would beat all possible for you to send me a script, or even a few pages or a single page, of a past script you have written. I read on your website that you write in Final Draft. I have Final Draft on my computer, so I would be able to view the file. I know this is asking a lot, but you would really be helping out an aspiring comic writer.

I appreciate your time, and I look forward to reading what's coming soon in Ultimate Spidey.

Bendis said he'd send you his old, unused submissions to EROS comics. They're written on tissues in invisible ink made from his own jizzum. ENJOY!

Jason Larouche

I'm a writer with eight years of experience in short stories and articles and have come up with an eight-issue treatment for an Ultimate version of Ghost Rider. What I'd like to know is how to approach Marvel with my idea and who to speak to.

Talk to Tony Isabella. He'll have your ass for stealing his ideas.

Nick

I have never been disappointed by anything you have written.

And some of the stuff I have just loved - The closing story arc of "Alias" (actually all of Alias), the youthful charm and fun of Ultimate Spider-man with its dark undercurrent, the New Avengers (that extraordinary issue with Wanda and Hawkeye).

All very good.

But "Powers" is best.

Why?

For one thing it is not like other established titles which have a winning formula which has to be preserved (against all logic) until it becomes stale. The reader does not know what the hell is going to happen next in "Powers".

Secondly, the stories can go anywhere and do anything they need to, even entering into x-rated sexual encounters. Let me make it clear I despise lazy writers who use sex to 'sell' their stories. In "Powers" nothing is gratuitous.
Thirdly, well the art is, inexplicably, excellent.

I think that working within the medium of superheros you have cunningly written a whole range of story types and experimented with lots of forms. All of your stories have clever and punchy dialogue. All of them have at some time contained ingenious twists.

I only have this one complaint: There is not enough "Powers".

It is the best.

More POWERS please.

Thanks for the great work,

Is cunningly written anything like cunnilingus? If not, I’m not even interested. I am way too turned on from all that gratuitous sex in Powers for anything but cunnilingus.

James.

Hi Brian & Ed (and Joe),

If you want Iron Man to be heroic again, here’s one path you could take.

It’s fairly simple, actually, and it does open the door to allow it.

Suppose Tony Stark really does and has suspected some kind of weird conspiracy inside S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA and even various world governments. How would he fight it? He’d need to throw suspicion off of himself, possibly by integrating himself into the machinery of the very conspiracy he feared, of course. Directorate of S.H.I.E.L.D. which he had a hand in creating after all isn’t a bad idea.

But how does he hope to dig up any dirt on it from such a well watched,public position?Well, clearly he couldn’t.

But a dead man could. What if this whole thing, from the Civil War on, has in part been a smoke screen?

What if it’s a plan? What if it’s Cap’s plan?

We often forget what a brilliant tactician Steve Rogers is. His behaviour in the final confrontation with Iron Man and his forces was,quite honestly, tremendously sub-par. Oh, sure, he won the fight, and then he gave up. Captain America, depicted so often as someone who never gives up, gave up. And then he was assassinated in the most ridiculously contrived scene ever, as every advantage that would have prevented his death was haphazardly neutralised.

Perhaps not so haphazardly. Perhaps Cap wanted to make sure he would be believed as dead as dead can be. After all, while the red, white and blue costume would be conspicuous, what’s just another blandly handsome blond dude wandering around America? No one would notice him.

We forget how many superspies Cap has worked alongside. The Black Widow,Nick Fury, Sharon Carter and most of S.H.I.E.L.D. - there’s a reason Cap took the front line against HYDRA and Madame Viper as many times as he did, a reason that goes beyond tossing a disc at people. Cap’s much smarter, and far more tenacious, and far more gifted tactically than most are willing to give him credit for. They...we... see the big broad grin and the brighyly coloured costume and we forget that this man’s been on the front lines for years, has worked behind the scenes as well as in full view of everyone, that he managed to outfight and outwit everyone from Baron Strucker to the Masters of Evil, from AIM to Doctor Doom. He doesn’t give up, he doesn’t repeat a mistake, he can think on his feet better than anyone, and he’s smart enough to smell a set up a mile away.

If you want to redeem Tony Stark, make him Steve Rogers’ inside man forthe biggest con ever pulled, the conspiracy to deceive Skrulls.

Tony Stark is a Skrull. Tony Stark doesn’t have to redeem himself for any man.

Hi Brian! My name is Salvo and I'm an italian fan of your works! I REALLY LOVE your drawings!!! I don't want to offend you in any way, and I can only imagine how much busy you are, but... is there a way to receive a little and quick "convention style" sketch like an headshot or simply an autograph to me dedicated? What would be the price of that kind of art? You probably receive thousands of similar e-mail everyday, and is not so nice asking for something this way... but I think that I'll never get the opportunity to meet you at some comiconvention, so...

If my request is impossible to realize, don't care, I'll understand!

Thank you very much anyway and my very best wishes for your work!!!You're a great artist!!!

Salvo

P.S. If you want I could send you an addressed envelope and some money for the postage (I don't know if italian postage is good for sending from other countries...)

P.S. excuse my english...

Dressing up in Bendis autographed head shot masks is all the rage in Europe this year.
As a fan of Bendis, I have used to his picture for my enjoyment purposes from http://www.jinxworld.com/. Maybe you could utilize that picture of Bendis for your artistic needs, Pieter & Salvo? All you need is a good photo printer, a can of spray mount, a few popsicle sticks and some cardboard!

Benjamin Ebert

Hello Mr. Bendis, given I've been unable to find a way to e-mail Marvel (do the editors no longer have e-mails these days), I just want to let you know you lost me. I can't imagine anything more anti-climatic than a Skrull invasion. The art is fun, I like your character choices. But after failing to spark my interest with The Collective, making Luke Cage into a much more generically heroic, and now a hyped-up moment that seem to come out of nowhere, rather than neatly tying into what's come before, I have to drop the book. It's one too many letdowns. I'm sorry, I've tried to be supportive of this book, I've been such a rooter-it's such a cool line-up! So much fun stuff happens. But this is such a dull turn when I thought it was finally going to be the big moment tying everything together, and it gives the whole company such a cheap out for past storylines someone doesn't care for. Fewer and fewer places to turn to for good storytelling these days.

Here is what I posted to Marvel.com:

"I do not know where else to post this that Marvel might see it. I have searched their website looking for some way to inform them: I am dropping New Avengers. I have never so quickly turned on a book in all my time reading comics. The art is great, the characters are likable: but could Bendis have possibly chosen a less interesting direction?

This is not the book I look to for a Skrull invasion, the most tired and cheap ploy in the Marvel playbook. It isn't at all what the book has set up; the book has set up a gritty atmosphere full of twists and conspiracies [ninjas, the government, low-level criminals, terrorists]. Not silly looking aliens from outer space. Annihilation put the Skrulls in a new and interesting situation with their empire decimated-can we please let that play out where it makes sense, rather than a book that feels completely unrelated. I thought Mighty Avengers was where we were going to leave the traditional Avengers silliness,
that that was the point. This was the book for new ideas.

I'm sure Bendis thinks he can do it better than it's been done in the past. But it's a boring idea, and seems designed to upset readers. We now have to doubt the stories we've been devoted to-what's the point of doing that? I thought I was reading about Elektra the past few issues and had interesting ideas as to why she'd be leading the Hand-but I never dreamed up this dull, cheap shot. I know Bendis wants us to wait and see-but if you're not telling an interesting story on the way, then forget it. The team looked taken out at the end of last issue, but herein we seem to pick up a few pages before and then ignore the earlier endangerment of the team. Echo comes out of her brainwashing through a deus ex machina ("Hey I've got Dr. Strange-I can skip character development and explanations even more often now").

This issue was built up and hyped-and did it explain anything? Did it do anything interesting? No, it just gives Marvel an easy out, I thought they were good enough to avoid these days: "Hey, it was a Skrull." Who's going to pick this up and do terrible things with it?

I was disappointed that all that's happened to Luke Cage is he's become a much more generically heroic kind of hero. I've been disappointed in items like the needless complications of Xorn and The Collective. But this is the final straw. If the idea was to hook me in-you've done the opposite Marvel. This was the final straw. One more let down I can't abide. Drop."

I am sorry to vent. But when you feel this let down by something you love...it's just a comic book. I need to move on, but I needed to do something first. Make sure my voice is heard, because I know I can't be the only one.

What? WHAT?! Sorry you need to speak up; it's hard to hear your voice from your mom's basement.

Aww...Benjamin, I am only teasing. C'mon, Benny baby, don't do this to us. How long have we known each other through the comics? I thought we had bonded. You can just give that up? You can't abide? You would drop me & Marvel just like that?

I see how you are.

Marvel will miss your readership.

Lee Sterrett

Mr. Bendis, my name is Lee Sterrett. My name is Lee Sterrett. I have read the Spider-man comics ever since I can remember, and when you and Mr. Bagley created Ultimate Spider-man, I was all over it. I have read every existing issue to this current date, and I cannot wait until the next issue in the "Death of a Goblin" storyline.
I have had an idea recently. I have met many people that enjoy regular books far more than graphic novels. I started to wonder what would happen if the Ultimate Spider-man volumns were turned into regular novels, for those more interested in visualizing the images in their head.
I have contacted you to ask your permission to rewrite the Ultimate Spider-man volumns. I do not really expect to get anything from this, just the satisfaction of seeing my name involved in one of the greatest reinterpretations of modern times. If you are interested, please contact me. If not, contact me anyway. I hate having to guess what the answer is. Please.
I would be honored to have you seriously ponder this issue.

Great idea Lee! I love it! I am pondering the seriousness fucking right out of this issue!

Unfortunately for you, I am merely a contest winner.

Plus your idea pretty much sucks.

Thanks for reading my column!

MaryPants
www.myspace.com/marywanna

Quote of the Month!

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