Elusive Nerd Girl Commodity.

Ask a Cute Nerd girl is my personal collection of cute and nerdy lady friends. I have spent my time on earth as of now amassing a pretty fucking sweet collection, if I do say so myself. I have somehow managed to coerce them into transforming together into regional panel here to advise you upon anything from the everyday nuances of life to your deepest, darkest, dirtiest secrets. We don't claim to know it all. We do all have vaginas though.

Please write to us! We will answer. All emails are received and reviewed by Mary. To ask a question of the panel:

Email Mary

I will distribute anything that is not plain ol' porn** to my remaining beautiful and sensitive ladies. We will publish your questions along with our collective responses.
If you wish to remain anonymous to the internet public, I will respect your wishes.
Pretty much anything you send me, I own.
**I reserve the right to laugh at and publish any porn sent to me.

12/29/07

Have you ever peed in the shower?

Hi Mary!

I promised you I'd do two things after you added me on myspace...tell my friends about your site (which I did). And I also promised that I'd pose a question to the X Chromisontigency. Far be it from me to not do what I said I would do.But I didn't want to send you & the gang a run-o-the-mill question either. So here goes...

There was a discussion had at a place I used to work at that had interesting results. A female manager posed this question to the staff (males & females) to see how they'd answer.

Question: Have you ever peed in the shower?

Keep in mind, the question isn't "Do" you pee in the shower, which may suggest a habitual act, and thereby affect the answer of the question. The question is have you EVER done it. For the record, even though I don't pee in the shower... I have peed in the shower. I guess you could say I was on the dark side of the argument.

If you're interested in how the results of our survey went, I'd be happy to share at your request.
Thanks to all of you for the cool site. And happy holidays (Merry Xmas) to all.

Later,
Jp

LAUREN

Funny enough, I have peed and sort of continue to do so. I try to finish up my business before I scrub my naughty bits, but sometimes, you gotta go.

ASH

Yes. But not since I was a child, because now, being OCD, it would gross me out too much and I wouldn't feel clean all day.

I would like to point out that there is an episode of Seinfeld that deals with this topic. "Different pipes go to different places!"

WHITNEY

Have I ever peed in the shower? Yes, yes I have and I'd do it again. In the words of George Costanza, "It's all pipes!!"

NESSA

That's quite the conversation for a manager to have with her staff. She is lucky she has cool employees. A lame person might make a big deal about it.

Are you peeing because you were warm? This is a common thing children do. Or are you too lazy to step out of the shower and pee the toilet? Or are you just getting off on peeing in the shower?

I have never peed in the shower.

MARY

I think this question is fucking hilarious. It is also fucking hilarious that Whitney, Ashley and myself all immediately started thinking about that Seinfeld episode. Nerds.

My first reaction is "Sure, who hasn't?" Isn't it sort of a rite of passage as a child when no longer forced to be bathed by a parent? "I'm in here all by myself. I could do whatever I want!" Then I received Nessa's response. She not only hasn't peed in the shower, she doesn't understand the urge to do so. Interesting. Everyone is different and has different urges. I think the warm water was definitely a factor when I have peed in the shower. It was also when I was much younger.

I always have to pee right when I wake up. I don't get in the shower immediately in the morning. I go make coffee and play to the interweb first. My tank is empty when I am in the shower so I don't feel the urge.

I also like to take long, relaxing baths. That could be a bit gross if I have been peeing in the tub.

Yes, I have peed in the shower. No, I don't pee in the shower as an adult. Mainly because I am the one that has to clean the bathtub. At least I have a brush to clean the toilet.

I write back to JP aka Jeff and asked him for the results of his survey. I had to know how it all came out. Pun intended. His results have made me suspicious of my male roommate. I am going to stop taking baths.

The results for our survey follows. I'm a little bummed, though. I called Joyce (the manager who posted the poll) & she threw the original poll away a while ago. I had hoped to scan a picture for you to show the validity. You'll just have to take a stranger's word that he's not a pervert I guess. Anyhoo, I had e-mailed the results to a bunch of my friends for a laugh so I still have the results. I've put initials to protect the staff. You can put my name in bright lights for all I care. I'm a pisser & I'm proud of it damn it! Also, i've put the gender in () for statistical purposes.

Have peed in the shower:
JG (F)
TS (M)
JZ (F)
CA (M)
JP (M-this is me)
AR (M)
SG (M-also wrote that he pooped in the shower-hopefully kidding)
DA (F)
EF (M)
AS (M)
JS (M)
MA (F)

Never have peed in the shower:

BG (M)
RB (M)
MA-R (F)
SA (F)
JH (F)
LH (F- wrote that she thinks this poll is gross and now has new opinion for certain co- workers)
AW (M)
JV (F)
LB (F)

Total pee-ers: 12 (8 males, 4 females)
Total wait until I get out-ers: 9 (6 females, 3 males)

This questions has piqued my curiosity. Now I can't stop asking people if they pee in the shower. I may continue to add results from women I ask.

Carrie

Here's my deal with peeing in the shower....it usually happens when I have to shower right away in the morning on a work day. I don't want to pee, flush the toilet and wait for the toilet to run it's course. It's easier to just hop in the shower, pee while I'm washing my hair that way I'm not waiting for the low pressure scalding water from the toilet flush to calm down, and I'm killing a few birds with one stone.

A very good point Carrie! Thank you!

12/21/07

Do The Super-Chicks Represent?

Running short on Interrogators, huh?

Okay, I've got a question for the CNGs:

I hear a lot of talk about strong women in comics, and certainly the Luna Brothers and Dan Clowes and guys like that who do very realistic stuff write very well-rounded female characters...

But what about in the more mainstream books? I personally think that Brian Reed (and Bendis) write Ms. Marvel as a complex, flawed, and ultimately heroic character...but she's still built on the Frank Cho Male Ideal, physically. I also thought Dan Slott did a great job with She-Hulk, particularly in really exploring the dichotomy between the Champion and the Girl...and at least Jen Walters is sort of "average-looking" when she's in her human form....

Or does the "male-centric" physical depiction bother you at all?

(I can't speak to DC characters cuz I don't read that crap.)

Deena Pilgrim, yes. I think we can all agree that she's one of the most interesting and real-world-seeming female characters in graphic adventure fiction...and we can add in Jessica Jones/Alias as well...but aside from the mighty Bendis's ladies, what do you guys really think about how most women are portrayed in mainstream (superhero?) comics?

And if you're largely dissatisfied, what do you think could be done to improve the situation?

Yr Pal,
(who is currently writing a central female character in a comic and who might be asking this for completely selfish reasons)
JB Love

CUTE NERD GIRL SPECIAL COLUMNIST ASHLEY!

This is something that I don't really think about all that much, and after giving it some consideration, I realized why: When I look for characterization, I'm mainly looking for whether the writer can pull off human or not. To look for whether a character is appropriately male or female almost seems sexist to me (though your question seems very considerate); it assumes that all males or all females would think and say and do the same things. But if you can get human down, then everything else should just fall into place. Ideally. Although speaking from experience, I know how difficult it can be to write for a male. Good writers can pull it off, though.

As for Deena, God I love her. Mainly because her spontaneous and quirky personality kind of reminds me of me. I remember a line of hers once--something like, "I always wear these little belly shirts. That's gotta do something for you." Sounded so like something I would say.

Also, I don't read an awful lot of mainstream stuff. But another great female character I enjoy is Tulip from Garth Ennis' Preacher.

LAUREN

Couple of my most recent favorites are Ed Brubaker's Catwoman and Brian K. Vaughn's Agent 355 from Y: The Last Man. Well, any woman from Y is fairly realistic and written brilliantly. I don't think Mr. Vaughn can do any wrong. Although Supergirl from the late 80s always kind of bugged the shit of out me because of her devotion to Lex, and the complete lack of brains that they gave her...I know he made her from protoplasm post-crisis, but still...I will say the Kara Zor-El that Jeph Loeb wrote in the Superman/Batman series is stupendous.

As for Marvel, I have way too much catching up to do, so I can't really say.


MARY

I totally agree with Lauren about 355 & Y. Poor 355! I actually cried out "Fuck no!" when she got shot while sitting by myself in my apartment. I had tears in my eyes at the end of Y #58. 355 bit the dust already. Now Deena from Powers is going to die next....it's a bad time to be one of my favorite kick ass comic chicks.

Also, Ashley? Deena reminds me of me. That Bendis bastard is some kind of writer.

I like pretty much all of the female X-Men (of course the Ultimate X-Men Bendis touched.) I have moved away from X-Men these days though. I will love Phoenix/Jean Grey until the day I die as well as Rogue.

Bendis and B.K.V. are my bests for female portrayals. I love every woman Bendis has ever written, of course. B.K.V.'s Runaways was awesome. That being said, Joss Whedon can write the fuck out of some ladies in everything he does. I like all the female characters in Warren Ellis's Nextwave too.

In the end, the "male-centric" physical depiction doesn't bother me at all. Have you checked out the male superheroes in mainstream books? Do any of you look like them?

Huge C.N.G. thanks to Ashley. She will be chiming in on the site when she has time



I think I am going to cry.

12/18/07

Comics I forgot!

I am a jerk. I am also a voracious reader that cannot make only a single post about web comics I read.

I love Taki Soma: you'll never die...

She's beautiful, talented and leaving the icy tundra of Minnesota behind. She will be missed!

That is one you all should check out.

I didn't link this last post either. I had the incorrect web address. The fine Cartoonist Conspirators have already fixed that. I recommend starting with the early strips and reading the whole way through. I did it. Now you can too! Here's Schmapples!

His imaginary girlfriend character was part of my inspiration for Ask a Cute Nerd Girl along with the Powers contest, of course.

REST IN PEACE, ERIC. October 22, 1978 - July 23, 2007

12/13/07

What online comics do nerdy girls enjoy?

We received two very similar questions. I decided to answer them together.

Question 1

hi mary, while i'm not strictly a bastard, here's one for you:

xkcd is one of my favorite online comics, what online comics do nerdy girls enjoy?

chrisw

Question 2

Dear C.N.G.P,

I'm a big fan of webcomics (sooo happy to see Beaver & Steve on your site!). Over the last 5 years, I've amassed more than 100 in a special bookmarks-folder. 80% of which I check every day, usually starting while enjoying my cup of tea before heading to work. So,yeah, I'm deeply in love with the artform.

Now my question is: are any of you into webcomics and if so, which ones do you consider to be the most awesome? And what makes them appealing to you?In quiet anticipation to your answers, I remain,

Rembrand Le Compte
www.mindbase21.be/mic

WHITNEY

My all time favorite webcomic is Perry Bible Fellowship: pbfcomics They're fucking hilarious.

Other honorable mentions include Penny-Arcade also spamusement where cartoons are drawn from the subject lines of spam emails. I know it doesn't sound that funny but it is, trust me.

NESSA

I don't read any web comics.

LAUREN

I have been reading Achewood recently: Achewood

I am making attempts to read more, I swear!

MARY

I waste me a fair amount of time on webcomics. I love it as an art form. I love blogs though too so who would listen to me? I was thinking about starting my own comic, then I won the Powers contest. Now I am all about questions and answers these days. I want to be the new dirty, nerdy Dear Abby.


I am a big fan of all the work done by Natalie Dee and her husband Drew of Toothpaste for Dinner I think I love Natalie Dee because she reminds me of myself. Her comics tend to mirror my thoughts. Drew is more solid comedy. I enjoy the comic they do together quite a bit: Married to the Sea

I love xkcd It is a very nerdcentric comic.

I read explosm but I don't always love it. I also read Penny-Arcade and Achewood like the previous ladies said. I love pbfcomics and beaverandsteve Beaver and Steve gives me good smiles that I need in my life.

I read lots of webcomics people I know make too. My friend Matt is the creator of Zed Reckoning Zombie Grotto

I started reading Ryan Dow's Introspective Comics after he wrote to me. Same goes for Daniel Olson's bewildered kid I will probably start reading Rembrand's comic now too: Make it Count

My friend Henry has a web comic that is much funnier if you have ever worked in home shopping. Chess with Birds His comic is often only funny to him which is kind of what he was going for when he started it. I am in it sometimes. He is my at work "boyfriend" so we see each other quite a bit.

There are so many I stop by and visit. I could list forever...ok only two more:

soapythechicken and catandgirl

Now some of my favorites of all time:
Toothpaste For Dinner

toothpastefordinner.com

Natalie Dee
nataliedee.com

Married To The Sea
marriedtothesea.com

12/11/07

Trend of nerdcentric fall television?

What do the Cute Nerd Girls think of the trend of nerdcentric fall television? The shows I am mainly thinking of are Chuck, Reaper and Big Bang Theory with their super nerdy leading men. I am also wondering what you think of Journeyman, Bionic Woman and Pushing Daisies for as recent sci-fi additions to the television lineup.

Love,
Casey

NESSA

With the writers strike, we may all be watching reruns soon.

I watched an episode of The Big Bang Theory. I thought it sucked. If they want to appeal to nerds or make fun of us, they should be more clever in their writing. Watch Fear of Girls 1 & 2 Those are both far funnier and much more clever.

I would rather watch a good sci-fi show than a show about nerds. I can see nerds in their natural habitat any time I want. I do have to say and you may be sick of hearing it but every good sci-fi that makes it to prime time gets canceled completely or picked up by the Sci-Fi channel.

As for the others, I have not seen them but I hear Pushing Daisies is good.

LAUREN

Praise Jebus, about time!!

I love how being nerdy is finally back in the mainstream. I think most of the public is sick of reality shows and the "look how these extremely rich and stupid people live" programs that currently litter the networks.

One can only watch so many vapid humans before the bile takes hold.

MARY

I hate Journeyman, which is now irrelevant since it is canceled.

I hate Chuck. That guy annoys the piss out of me.

I find Big Bang Theory a bit insulting.

I like Reaper more than Pushing Daises. I like them both alright. They are kind of the same show. Wasn't this show called Dead Like Me a couple years ago? I liked it then too.

I thought I would like Bionic Woman more than I do. I suppose Katee Sackhoff as evil bionic is almost enough to make me like it since she is my super secret girlfriend & all.

The only upcoming television I am excited to see right now is my other girlfriend, Summer Glau as a Terminator in Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles

12/9/07

This makes me smile

Click this comic to enter a world of unfeasible adventure!

Sorry for not posting as of late. I have been attending to "personal business".

Cute Nerd Girl may move to a biweekly posting to improve quality.

Write me some goddamn questions, you bastards.

Love you,
MaryPants

12/4/07

Han Solo vs. Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds?

Who would win in a fight: Han Solo vs. Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds?

The only rule would be that it can’t end in a tie. I need some clear cut reasoning as well. The fanboy in me can’t choose either one at the moment. I NEED YOUR HELP!

Rob Hughes
Blackboard Specialist

Lauren

If the said fight was a fist fight: Mal would be the clear winner. He was in the military and on the losing side of the war meaning there was a lot of fighting going on. He seeks trouble in various locales that require the use of his fists. Han Solo, however, is a smart ass smuggler with a blaster that would be terrible mano e mano. He would take out his weapon mid fight just to get outta there 'cause there's cargo to haul and he needs to get paid!

But if there were weapons involved: Han Solo, no doubt. He fires so recklessly and without much thought who will die that he would be a clear winner.

Nessa

Hands down Mal. While they are both clever and tough, Mal is a leader. He fought as a Sargent in the battle of Sturges and as Captain in the battle of SerenityValley which are two of the most bloodiest battles against the Alliance during The Unification War.

Plus kick ass woman like Zoe and River have his back.

Whitney

A tough match. Both have their own ship, rugged good looks, and three-letter names. My first instinct would be to say that these two would throw a few punches, realize they are one and the same and go share a few smuggling stories over a brewski. But since a tie is not in order, I'd have to say Han since he would shoot first!

Mary

Mmmm...oh, fuck! Oh please...give it to me, fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes fuck!

Oh. Um. Sorry. I heard Han vs. Mal. I started imagining myself as a Chinese fingertrap between the two...I'm sure you understand...

Mal wins because Joss based him off of Han.

Joss was trying to make Mal into the evolved Han of the future therefore Mal beats Han.

Han still wins for being the original Han.

HUGE CUTE NERD GIRL WELCOME!

We have our first cute nerd girl apply to be a CNG columnist. Cute Nerd Girls were polled:

Lauren

She seems like a pretty good nerd to me.

Nessa

Love her. She is perfect.

Mary

I was pretty much decided when I saw her myspace headline of:

"I'm going to eat your brains and gain your knowledge"

BEST RECENT ZOMBIE MOVIE FTW IYF!

Everyone, meet Whitney. Whitney, meet everyone.

Whitney's Clank

Whitney made a fucking Clank action figure She is a damn crafty nerd like the three of us.

ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!


See? Somehow Powers 27 brought Cute Nerd Girls together.

Let us all snuggle on that for a moment.

12/3/07

More diamond information

I did some further investigating about cruelty free jewelry. I sent out this email to a couple different companies:

I was recently telling a friend of mine that a way to ensure quality jewelry guaranteed to be cruelty free was to purchase from Canada.

We are curious if you could inform us of the practices of your company. We know that Canada has admirable diamond laws. How do the rest of the gemstones fair?

Thanks for answering our nosy questions. We both are concerned about the jewelry we wear and want to research this as much as possible! I am sure you understand the idea of having "happy" jewelry.

Thanks again,
Mary

I received an awesome, quick response from this company:
Nathan Hennick

Good Morning Mary,

Yes, you can truly say that Canada makes “happy” jewelry!

Our labor laws and humanity regulations are stronger and more regularly enforced
than many other countries around the world. The practices of our company hold true
to that statement. We employ a wide variety of ethnic backgrounds and only the
most meticulous, talented craftsmen in the industry. The jewelry industry puts
measures in place to protect consumers from illicit materials and we as a part
of our mission statement hold true to those laws and expectations.

All gemstones as well as the diamonds we use are purchased through trusted sources
and are guaranteed to be conflict free.

Consumers today who ask questions to better understand what they are supporting
are not being nosy – they are doing their part to maintain honesty and integrity
within the industries they acquire merchandise from.

Our collections are not only “happy” they are blissful

Seasons Greetings,

Tyler

There you have it.

If your girl must have a diamond, do the world a favor and buy Canadian!

12/2/07

Frida Kahlo exhibit

Ryan Dow took me to the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Walker Art Museum yesterday.

It was pretty fucking cool to see works of art I had admired in art history books a mere six inches away from
my face.
It was amazing how much of a difference in depth I could see in real life. That's some quality brushwork,
Frida!

If you live in Minneapolis, you should check it out.
It runs until 1/20/2008.
Walker Art

Thanks for taking a Cute Nerd Girl out for an interesting afternoon, Ryan!

12/1/07

Craftacular Saturday!

I need new questions to answer. Send them to me. I demand it! Don't force me to make them up. Dear Abby used to do it all the time...

If it is still Saturday morning when you are reading this and you live in Minneapolis, you should head on down to the 3rd Annual Winter Craft Sale at Midtown Global Market.


No Coast Craft-O-Rama

I am planning to purchase all my holiday gifts this morning there. If there are any objections, I am prepared to scream "It is handmade! By an artist! You support local art, don't you?"

You should join me in crafty heaven!