Commitment Hell?

When women want sex early in a relationship, is that just a snare to entrap us in some sort of commitment hell? Because after the first year or so, "God I want you inside me" becomes "God would you do the dishes" and I don't understand why. What changed? My suspicion is that for women sex is a means to an end and for guys sex is the end. Thoughts?

Ted

NESSA
Women are not thinking "Sweet, I found a guy to have sex with me. Now I can make him my dish washing slave" Some people like to have sex right away for passion, fun or to see if there is chemistry. If she is complaining about housework, then she is bored. I suggest taking her out on a date. Not a half ass date, make it nice. She will feel appreciated and in return you will reap the rewards of "Oh God I want you inside me". Or you could go down on her which is a lot quicker and more cost effective.


LAUREN
Well Ted, I have to say that this is a problem many of my friends have. My female friend, who sounds an awful lot like the woman you mention, is not a sexual being. Or so she says. She tells me that sex just isn't her thing. I am not sure if she told her boyfriend before they became involved, but that would be something I would want to know.

Maybe something is lacking in the relationship, what was there before isn't now? I have been in a relationship when it started out like, "God I want you inside me" then went to "God would you do the dishes". The problem was he just wasn't the same boy that I fell madly in love with. He just sat around, doing nothing. It wasn't the playing video games and smoking mass amounts of herbal substances, it was the fact that he wasn't going anywhere or doing anything productive. No goals, no passions, no plans, just sitting at home and doing nothing. And that does not make me want to jump into bed, screaming for cock. Most women not only want sexual stimulation, but intellectual as well.

Perhaps it could be she just doesn't like having sex, and doesn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings. Or, well, she could be a money grubbing bitch that only wants you to take care of her and she has to do nothing in return. The same friend I speak of has made mention that she's annoyed with women's lib because there's nothing that would make her happier than sitting at home not ever having to work again.

I hope you can derive something out of this.

MARY
Most women are sexual if you try. I recommend a couple wine coolers & putting your video gamer trigger finger to work on her clitoris. "Make it rain" to quote my friend Dusty.

If the way to your wife's vadge is through the dishes, then you should probably just do the dishes. You are already in your trap. It is too late for you now. The easiest way to avoid the commitment trap is to not get married or live together. That way you will always have separate dishes.

The best marriage role models for a long lasting loving relationship I have ever known are my life long friend, Nika's parents. They still pinch each other on the bottom and hold hands. They also own and operate the largest swingers club in the Midwest. This impacts my views of monogamy tremendously. I like the idea of growing old with someone. I don't know if I like the idea of sleeping with that same person for the rest of my life.

Maybe you could make a deal that if she goes with you go to a swingers party, you will do the dishes for a year. Or buy her a fucking dishwasher. That will get you laid. But what do I know? I have never been married. I don't have kids. I live with a sloppy male roommate. I do wish he would do the dishes. I am not in a sexual relationship with him though so it doesn't count.

I am American therefore I outsource.

NOW TO ADVISE YOU FROM THE ASPECT OF A MARRIED MOTHER OF TWO BOYS...
SPECIAL GUEST COLUMNIST CUTE NERD MAMA NIKA!

The female species has used sex as a trap for eons. It's nothing new, however, I think your concern falls more under the "Why doesn't my husband help me around the house" category.

Nothing, NOTHING gets a woman hotter than when their husband/boyfriend does chores around the house without being nagged to do so. Doing unsolicited household chores frees up your ladies time and mental energy, which allows her to think about sex. You will also get mad bonus points (and maybe some ball tickling) because your wife will think you really do WANT to help care for the house.

So in a nutshell, if you want more sex, fix/ mow/ fold/ wash something. It's a fucking guarantee. Shit, my husband got the mother of all blow jobs last night for folding laundry.

THANKS CUTE NERD MAMA!

That sure shows how perspective can change things, doesn't it? I think Nika's answer is the most accurate for Ted's question. Nessa is a newlywed still.