Photos of the dead?

Dear CNG,

A weird and blasphemous (possibly offensive) question:

What's your standpoint on taking pictures of recently deceased loved ones?

I ask because there's been a falling-out between people I know, because one had the audacity of taking a picture of her father on the death-bed. She thought it would be cathartic to reflect on it later. Her family took offence whereas I think she has done nothing wrong.

Is this sacrilegious to you? Or can one maybe avoid eternal damnation and loss of respect by merely asking special permission from, let's say, the partner of the deceased? We're talking about a person close to you, not the headless corpse stacked in a garbage bin in your basement.

Sincerly,

Rembrand

WHITNEY

I think this is something that is entirely up to the person taking the picture. Personally, I would want to remember a loved one in life and not have a visual of their death, but I can't judge someone for wanting to. As far as it being sacrilegious, I don't see it that way as long as it's only used for personal emotional well-being.

ASHLEY

I personally see nothing at all sacrilegious or taboo about it, and if somebody wants to do it, that's fine. I do recognize that some people would be offended by it, and so would probably ask permission first.

I don't see myself ever doing it, however, because I would find it extremely creepy. That's why it's important to take lots of pictures now, while the people around you are living, so as not to have to take pictures of corpses later in order to remember someone's image.

NESSA

While I do fully support being sacrilegious whenever offered the opportunity, I'd have to say that out of respect for the other family members it would be polite to ask before you take the photo, but hardly a requirement or something to get all Hatfield and McCoy about. The dead don't care if you take their photo. I would never care if a photo was taken of a dead family member of mine. I might question why one would want a picture of deceased as I figure birth and death get far too much attention versus the actual day to day act of living,but to each their own.

I will admit though that I've been fascinated with Book of Dead after I read about a touring exhibit of the photos. They were used to remind the families of their lost loved one.

Personally I would rather hang living photos of my loved ones around the house, but hey Nessa likes her peoples alive. They look like they are sleeping but don't look at them if you are sensitive, some are children.

All of that said there definitely appears to be a pretty significant cultural moray against such things, even if I personally don't see what the big deal is. And though Thomas Condon wasn't a
family member I think there is still some info on the subject to be garnered from looking at the case of photographer, Thomas Condon

LAUREN

Dignity, always dignity.

That's why you ask permission before you become a shutterbug and take that final pic when a loved one is at their worst. Most people like to be remembered for the person they were, not the shell that they became. When my aunt was on her deathbed not too long ago, a part of me longed to take a picture because I knew I was saying good bye and this was my last chance for a photo op. If they are unable to grant that permission, I am sure that asking the partner would be permissible. I don't think it's odd, but in some cases it could be destructive for the grieving process when you have a picture of a corpse. I guess you could put it side by side in the album; this was when I was fishing with Aunt Grace, and this one here was when she was dying of cancer. Ok, ok, so you probably wouldn't do that. But I definitely don't think that it's grounds for estrangement.

MARY

Fuck, as long as she didn't stand next to the body giving a thumbs up to the camera, it is fine. She didn't dress him up and walk him around à la Weekend at Bernie's!

I am guessing this is possibly older family members that were upset. The techie generations understand using technology to connect and disconnect with emotions.

Unlike the other girls, I could see myself doing this. Photos help me process. I have an obsession with going to back to school for mortuary science. I am already a videographer/photographer. Seems natural to me.

I love both the links that Nessa provided. The Thomas Condon story is disturbing yet I do still understand the artistic statement he is making. I am a minority in that though, I'm afraid. Book of Dead is absolutely fascinating to me.

It is respectful to ask for permission to take photos of the dead. However, if this was a daughter taking a photo of her father, she doesn't need permission. It is her father. She gets to deal with it however she deals with it. Photos of him to remember how sad the end of his life was could make her more grateful he has passed on to whatever high holy crap.