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Ask a Cute Nerd girl is my personal collection of cute and nerdy lady friends. I have spent my time on earth as of now amassing a pretty fucking sweet collection, if I do say so myself. I have somehow managed to coerce them into transforming together into regional panel here to advise you upon anything from the everyday nuances of life to your deepest, darkest, dirtiest secrets. We don't claim to know it all. We do all have vaginas though.

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12/4/07

Han Solo vs. Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds?

Who would win in a fight: Han Solo vs. Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds?

The only rule would be that it can’t end in a tie. I need some clear cut reasoning as well. The fanboy in me can’t choose either one at the moment. I NEED YOUR HELP!

Rob Hughes
Blackboard Specialist

Lauren

If the said fight was a fist fight: Mal would be the clear winner. He was in the military and on the losing side of the war meaning there was a lot of fighting going on. He seeks trouble in various locales that require the use of his fists. Han Solo, however, is a smart ass smuggler with a blaster that would be terrible mano e mano. He would take out his weapon mid fight just to get outta there 'cause there's cargo to haul and he needs to get paid!

But if there were weapons involved: Han Solo, no doubt. He fires so recklessly and without much thought who will die that he would be a clear winner.

Nessa

Hands down Mal. While they are both clever and tough, Mal is a leader. He fought as a Sargent in the battle of Sturges and as Captain in the battle of SerenityValley which are two of the most bloodiest battles against the Alliance during The Unification War.

Plus kick ass woman like Zoe and River have his back.

Whitney

A tough match. Both have their own ship, rugged good looks, and three-letter names. My first instinct would be to say that these two would throw a few punches, realize they are one and the same and go share a few smuggling stories over a brewski. But since a tie is not in order, I'd have to say Han since he would shoot first!

Mary

Mmmm...oh, fuck! Oh please...give it to me, fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes fuck!

Oh. Um. Sorry. I heard Han vs. Mal. I started imagining myself as a Chinese fingertrap between the two...I'm sure you understand...

Mal wins because Joss based him off of Han.

Joss was trying to make Mal into the evolved Han of the future therefore Mal beats Han.

Han still wins for being the original Han.

HUGE CUTE NERD GIRL WELCOME!

We have our first cute nerd girl apply to be a CNG columnist. Cute Nerd Girls were polled:

Lauren

She seems like a pretty good nerd to me.

Nessa

Love her. She is perfect.

Mary

I was pretty much decided when I saw her myspace headline of:

"I'm going to eat your brains and gain your knowledge"

BEST RECENT ZOMBIE MOVIE FTW IYF!

Everyone, meet Whitney. Whitney, meet everyone.

Whitney's Clank

Whitney made a fucking Clank action figure She is a damn crafty nerd like the three of us.

ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!


See? Somehow Powers 27 brought Cute Nerd Girls together.

Let us all snuggle on that for a moment.

10 comments:

staplegenius said...

LAUREN!!!!
Han is a smuggler, not a bounty hunter.
....you just bmade me cry...

Laurenation said...

Ahhhh!!

You're right!!

I just realized this!

Laurenation said...

I am such a fool!

I mis typed, I swear!

Ryan Dow said...

I'm ashamed to admit that I had to google Mal because I had no idea who he was.

MaryPants said...

Danno's tears and Lauren's apology make Mary edit!

staplegenius said...

Also LAuren--

Han was in the Empirial army.
(READ THE DAMN HAN SOLO TRILOGY!!!)
So, he was also taught to be a loser soldier.

Laurenation said...

alright, I will, I will!

Laurenation said...

Thank Mary for the edit!

J.B. Love said...

Man...great question...

Mal would win, I think, for the same reasons he beat Chitwel...Cheitweil...uh, that bad guy in Serenity. Because he's all fucked up, physically, from the war. We can just assume that he's more battle-scarred than Han, and a more experienced leader...so he wouldn't back down until he was...you know. All due respect to Senor Solo, but the worst we ever saw him suffer was being frozen in carbonite. (Which for all we know might have been quite refreshing...prior to the temporary blindness, of course.)
Add in the fact that one was created by Joss Whedon in his prime and the other had his mythology brutally ripped away by THAT OTHER GUY...I'm sticking with my BrownCoat Captain.

bewilderedkid said...

I had to do the same thing Ryan did. I have no idea who "Mal" is. I've never seen Firefly. I'm the worst.