How do I get him to like me?

hey Mary!

I wanna ask a question regarding a guy in my class. He is well known as the class nerd. And he is the sweetest person ever and we talk in class alot, and I kinda like him. But the prob is, I don’t know how to get to him. His level of intelligence is way higher than mine. That’s what makes him appreciated. Mary, can you please tell me how to get him 2 like me?

thakx
Lilli

ASHLEY

Confidence is key. It's what turns a lame nerd into a cool nerd. It makes all the difference. So don't be afraid to use it. If he isn't even aware that you're into him, you're probably going to have to make the first move. Ask him out or something.

As for getting him interested, try talking to him about comics, or something else that he wouldn't be aware you even had knowledge of--something that he can relate to. Wow him with your nerdiness. And never be afraid to be yourself. My fiance informs me he believes the very first things that attracted him to me were my odd sense of dress and a notebook I carried around that was covered in stickers. (And I was cute.) So back to the confidence thing--you want to stand out and not be ashamed of it. Never be ashamed of your nerdiness.

(By the way, his level of intelligence is also higher than mine, but he's always commenting on how much smarter I am than him, so I'm obviously doing something right.)

NESSA

Befriend him. The girl friendship alone should spark his interest in you. If you still don't have his attention it is because he probably thinks you couldn't possible like him. Try putting your hand on his shoulder and see how he reacts.

LAUREN

You can start by doing some of your own nerd research. Do you guys have similar interests? (I am assuming so) Read the latest in technology and science, one of my favorite sites is Discover!
Look for a snippet or article that you find interesting and bring it up the next time you talk to him. The same thing applies for politics. Ask him what he thinks of the delegates so far. news.bbc.co.uk is a great site for interesting articles and keeps you in the loop of international affairs. For comics and sci-fi, you can always go to a wiki page 'cause lord knows there's tons of info there. If there is something you don't understand during the conversation; i.e. think he's talking above your head, or maybe don't know, just ask him to explain it or go into detail. Probe for information, and who knows, he might be thinking the same about you. If he gives you an exasperated sigh, he probably isn't worth it.

MARY

Honestly, I had a tough time answering this. I think I may be the nerd in the situation. I was trying to think about how men had gotten me to like them. That turned into a sordid night of questionable memories.

I had recently been talking to my friend Rob of PodCaust He is a fairly nerdy equivalent to myself. I am more book, he is more computer. I had observed how his current girlfriend Lesley snagged him over the course of our friendship. I asked her for her perspective:

LESLEY

I've been in your situation. Almost 2 and 1/2 years ago, I liked the guy who was a "nerd". Now I love him, and we have been together for a little over a year. We actually started getting to know each other when I needed help with my computer and we began hanging out every now and then. In the beginning there were a lot of things that he was into that I had never really been interested in (i.e. video games, horror flicks, role playing games, computers, action figures, comics, sci-fi shows - like Battlestar Galactica and Firefly, etc.). In the process of becoming great friends, I gave all of those things at least a chance. I may not have been into everything, but a lot of it I did get into. The things I wasn’t fond of I at least became accepting and understanding of. I am supportive of his projects, like his podcast (which you can listen to at http://www.podcaust.com/ and participate in the forums at http://www.forums.podcaust.com/ – see, I’m supportive). With that said, find out what his interests are, see if you become interested in them as well (at least give it a chance) and DON’T fake liking anything. Above all, I suggest becoming friends first and see where it goes from there. This will build a relationship and will make things less “stressful” (such as there won’t be first date weirdness, at least for awhile). If all else fails, pick up a British accent.

I asked Rob for his opinion too. His response:

ROB

Listen to my awesome girlfriend and the rest of the cute nerd girls. They are usually right. Here's my take on the other end of spectrum. I'm the nerd who happens to be a guy. The one who collects statues (they're not action figures dammit!), the one who likes to wax poetic on the finer merits of Troll 2 (the dance scene is beyond awesome), the one who plays video games and the one who likes to talk into a microphone and spread the word of the nerd (visit http://www.podcaust.com/ and http://forums.podcaust.com/ for all of your nerdy needs!!) Ahem. Sorry about that, even as a nerd I know how to self-promote. :) When it comes right down to it, all I ever wanted was someone that understood me or at least attempted to. Don't be afraid of your crushes' intelligence. If he is a decent guy he will never try and make you feel dumb or put you down if you don't understand something. Chances are, he will love to teach you about all of the awesome things that he is into. That's what I did with Lesley. Not once did she ever make me feel bad for the dumb things I love. She never tried to change me. Which, being a nerd, has happened a lot of times in the past. Try not to act different around him and just be yourself. Try and gauge his tastes in movies/music and maybe invite him to a flick/concert he'd want to see. The friendship angle totally works. No pressure and you get to know each other a lot better. And like my girl said, if all else fails, develop a British accent. Or wear a Princess Leia slave costume. No self-respecting nerd could ever turn that down. Cheers!

There you go Lilli! Thanks for writing to the CNG!