Here's a question for your blog. Which would you pick, flight or invisibility?
Ryan Dow
Ryan Dow
WHITNEY
Permanently? Because I wouldn't choose permanent invisibility (I mean, have you seen Hollow Man?) If I could choose where and when to use it, I would definitely choose invisibility over flight. You could totally hide from the people who want to capture you and cut up your brain for research. And also punch them in the face.
LAUREN
Invisibility.
If there was a bank robbery in progress, I could sneak in, disarm the bandits, and they wouldn't know what hit 'em. I would use my power for kicking ass and fighting crime. I definitely wouldn't use it for shoplifting, eavesdropping, or anything else ridiculous. (There could be exceptions.) I feel that would just trivialize it. I would become the thing I was fighting against.
So, invisibility it is!
ASHLEY
When I first glanced at this question, I thought, oh, invisibility, without a doubt. Though I would normally choose flight, it would lose to invisibility. Now I'm not sure why. What good is it, except for sneaking around places and spying? While those things are all well and good, there aren't a whole lot of places I want to go that would require invisibility to get there. I don't need to spy on anyone; I really don't care what people are saying about me.
I would be seriously afraid that something would go wrong and I'd be stuck as invisible forever. That would not sit well with me at all. I was once in this video a friend made in a high school, a superhero story, and one of the characters I played was Invisible Girl, and I wore the brightest, most mismatched clothing, and was constantly jumping around in front of people's faces and shouting, but nobody saw me. Nobody heard me. It was quite sad, really. (I also got to be the villain. That was entertaining.)
Even if nothing went wrong, it doesn't seem like it would be a whole hell of a lot of fun. But who doesn't want to be able to fly? That would rock. There's a useful power that is enjoyable, too.
Hm...having the power of flight would put a whole different spin on skydiving (which I haven't done...yet).
NESSA
Flight would feel freeing, invisibility would just get me into trouble.
MARY
Everyone knows that person that can fly. You cannot hide that power. People will see you in the sky. You could fly higher but then you encounter issues with radar. The main problem of flight is getting flight path clearance.
Make me invisible. I enjoy secret superpowers. I would use my powers for evil unlike Lauren. I would be a billionaire within hours of my gift of the power of invisibility. If I wanted to fly, I could fly for free in the empty first class seats of any airplane. Hell, I could hop onto P.Diddy's private jet with him if I felt like it. If I wanted to go wherever P. Diddy was going.
I am with Whitney on the permanent invisible factor. Poor Kevin Bacon couldn't sleep. His eyelids were invisible. I do not want to be like H.G. Well's Invisible Man. I would want to be able to wear it like Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility. Or else I want to the power to bend light to become invisible at my will without any of the insanity that often seems to accompany that power.
Mary where the hell have you been and why haven't you been posting?
I do not want to sit blogging in my non air conditioned apartment in the summertime. I like to be outside in the summer. If you can't wait a Minnesota summer for me....screw you. I have been a busy girl, working with my friend Terry for new video podcast. It is called Microscopic Life. It is a bit like Dave Attell's Insomniac meets npr's This American Life. Check it out!
Mircoscopic Life
5/13/08
Committment to non-reproduction?
Dear Cute Nerd Girls....
I haven't done much dating so far, for reasons which are too numerous to get into, but one of the biggest and most easily distinguished issues is that I am absolutely bound and determined, for my entire life, never to have children no matter what, and I figure that short-circuits a lot of potential relationships. Do you have any suggestions as to where/how/etc. I might be able to meet a chick who shares my committment to non-reproduction? We're all hardwired to want to breed, but it seems as though men have an easier time hitting the snooze button on the biological clock until it wears out, at least in the modern age of the condom. Maybe I could find a girl who's willing to have a short-term fling (I should be so lucky), but I'm inclined to think that relationships with "no future" are disappointing at best, and so I would prefer to know that a woman not only doesn't want children now, but will be fine with not wanting children in 10 years if we should happen to hit it off and stay together that long.
Will P.
MARY
Will, that was one hell on of run on sentence
Chances are your first few relationships won't last that long. Kids should not come up for at least a few dates. Don't push it. Feel her out. Literally and figuratively. You may get a short term fling and she will decide to leave you to breed later with someone else.
I recommend a vasectomy you keep to yourself. Your reproductive rights are yours. If you have decided to never have children, it is within your power to make it happen. Plus you get the bonus of laughing when a girl tells you she is pregnant with your baby. Boom..entire Maury episode! I bet you could get a free hotel room out of that. You should still wear a condom though. Practice safe sex kids! Here is a video from Drinking With Ian starring me as an abortion recipient for the amusement of all of us baby haters out there:
LAUREN
"You might as well know right off the bat, I had a vasectomy."
Someday I will meet a man that drops this off in the first 10 minutes of conversation.
Unfortunately, there is only one Harvey Pekar...and he's a little too old for me.
But there are several women and men that feel this way. Finding fellow non-breeders can be befuddling; but we are out there and can be found in most common places. The Onion and Bust both have online personals that are sure to have a cadre of non-breeding females. Art galleries, record shops, concerts, film festivals, coffee and comic shops to name a few are some great places to snoop around for that like-minded mate.
While lurking online I found this amusing article that was published in 1911 about exporting childless women overseas in the NY Times:
EXPORT CHILDLESS WOMEN
ASHLEY
Hm, where to meet one...an abortion clinic?
Honestly, dude, I don't know...and I am one of those girls. I think I'm the only one I know, though. I got lucky with a guy who also doesn't want kids...ever...and sometimes I even irrationally worry that someday he might change his mind. I have a whole list of reasons not to have kids. Copy/pasted from my LiveJournal:
1. Just the idea of having a little parasite growing inside of me, feeding off of me, moving, creeps me the hell out. I don't care how natural or normal it is; it's fucking creepy.
2. I don't like kids. I don't find them cute. I think kids are creepy. I don't know how to act around them or talk to them. They make me feel awkward.
3. I don't like babies. I think they're ugly. And no, I don't want to hold yours. I feel paranoid the entire time I'm around one because I'm afraid you're going to try to make me hold it.
4. I don't want anyone else coming between our relationship. There are two people in it, me and my fiance, and I want it to stay that way. From what I've seen, kids almost always destroy the relationship.
5. We are going to save so much money by not having children.
6. I never want to experience childbirth.
7. I don't want to get fat. I actually have a complex about it. (I'm not anorexic; I just don't want to get bigger than I am now.) I don't want extra meat on my bones, and I don't want a bunch of loose skin just hanging off of me, either.
8. Just in case global warming starts knocking out a bunch of land within our lifetime, I don't feel the need to contribute to the overpopulation. Yes, I actually worry about this.
I can probably think of more given the time. A co-worker recently told me that she considers work her free time, because she has two kids. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves? I am sure there must be someone else out there who feels this way. Try online. That's the only thing I can really think of, is a personal ad. Seriously, I really hope you find what you're looking for. :-\
NESSA
Look for a woman who is in mid life. They are past the baby producing age, know what they want in a relationship and are usually better in bed.
If you are looking for a younger girl, let her know up front that you don't want kids. You will get let down a few times but eventually you will find a girl who shares your same interest in not having kids.
With that being said I do have to warn you that even women who are adamant that they don't want kids can get hit by the baby bug. I didn't want kids until I started pushing 30. It is not the age or my thinking time is running out. Just something changed in me as I got older and more settled. Luckily my husband is neutral on kids.
The point is a person's values and goals may change as you grow so there is no sure fire way to avoid it unless you don't date at all. I advise not going through life worried about tomorrow. If you meet someone you like, try it out you might find what you are looking for. Be up front but also cross the baby bridge when you come to it.
Good Luck!
I haven't done much dating so far, for reasons which are too numerous to get into, but one of the biggest and most easily distinguished issues is that I am absolutely bound and determined, for my entire life, never to have children no matter what, and I figure that short-circuits a lot of potential relationships. Do you have any suggestions as to where/how/etc. I might be able to meet a chick who shares my committment to non-reproduction? We're all hardwired to want to breed, but it seems as though men have an easier time hitting the snooze button on the biological clock until it wears out, at least in the modern age of the condom. Maybe I could find a girl who's willing to have a short-term fling (I should be so lucky), but I'm inclined to think that relationships with "no future" are disappointing at best, and so I would prefer to know that a woman not only doesn't want children now, but will be fine with not wanting children in 10 years if we should happen to hit it off and stay together that long.
Will P.
MARY
Will, that was one hell on of run on sentence
Chances are your first few relationships won't last that long. Kids should not come up for at least a few dates. Don't push it. Feel her out. Literally and figuratively. You may get a short term fling and she will decide to leave you to breed later with someone else.
I recommend a vasectomy you keep to yourself. Your reproductive rights are yours. If you have decided to never have children, it is within your power to make it happen. Plus you get the bonus of laughing when a girl tells you she is pregnant with your baby. Boom..entire Maury episode! I bet you could get a free hotel room out of that. You should still wear a condom though. Practice safe sex kids! Here is a video from Drinking With Ian starring me as an abortion recipient for the amusement of all of us baby haters out there:
LAUREN
"You might as well know right off the bat, I had a vasectomy."
Someday I will meet a man that drops this off in the first 10 minutes of conversation.
Unfortunately, there is only one Harvey Pekar...and he's a little too old for me.
But there are several women and men that feel this way. Finding fellow non-breeders can be befuddling; but we are out there and can be found in most common places. The Onion and Bust both have online personals that are sure to have a cadre of non-breeding females. Art galleries, record shops, concerts, film festivals, coffee and comic shops to name a few are some great places to snoop around for that like-minded mate.
While lurking online I found this amusing article that was published in 1911 about exporting childless women overseas in the NY Times:
EXPORT CHILDLESS WOMEN
ASHLEY
Hm, where to meet one...an abortion clinic?
Honestly, dude, I don't know...and I am one of those girls. I think I'm the only one I know, though. I got lucky with a guy who also doesn't want kids...ever...and sometimes I even irrationally worry that someday he might change his mind. I have a whole list of reasons not to have kids. Copy/pasted from my LiveJournal:
1. Just the idea of having a little parasite growing inside of me, feeding off of me, moving, creeps me the hell out. I don't care how natural or normal it is; it's fucking creepy.
2. I don't like kids. I don't find them cute. I think kids are creepy. I don't know how to act around them or talk to them. They make me feel awkward.
3. I don't like babies. I think they're ugly. And no, I don't want to hold yours. I feel paranoid the entire time I'm around one because I'm afraid you're going to try to make me hold it.
4. I don't want anyone else coming between our relationship. There are two people in it, me and my fiance, and I want it to stay that way. From what I've seen, kids almost always destroy the relationship.
5. We are going to save so much money by not having children.
6. I never want to experience childbirth.
7. I don't want to get fat. I actually have a complex about it. (I'm not anorexic; I just don't want to get bigger than I am now.) I don't want extra meat on my bones, and I don't want a bunch of loose skin just hanging off of me, either.
8. Just in case global warming starts knocking out a bunch of land within our lifetime, I don't feel the need to contribute to the overpopulation. Yes, I actually worry about this.
I can probably think of more given the time. A co-worker recently told me that she considers work her free time, because she has two kids. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves? I am sure there must be someone else out there who feels this way. Try online. That's the only thing I can really think of, is a personal ad. Seriously, I really hope you find what you're looking for. :-\
NESSA
Look for a woman who is in mid life. They are past the baby producing age, know what they want in a relationship and are usually better in bed.
If you are looking for a younger girl, let her know up front that you don't want kids. You will get let down a few times but eventually you will find a girl who shares your same interest in not having kids.
With that being said I do have to warn you that even women who are adamant that they don't want kids can get hit by the baby bug. I didn't want kids until I started pushing 30. It is not the age or my thinking time is running out. Just something changed in me as I got older and more settled. Luckily my husband is neutral on kids.
The point is a person's values and goals may change as you grow so there is no sure fire way to avoid it unless you don't date at all. I advise not going through life worried about tomorrow. If you meet someone you like, try it out you might find what you are looking for. Be up front but also cross the baby bridge when you come to it.
Good Luck!
4/13/08
Rockband or Guitar Hero?
*email from ashley's Pre-Crisis husband, and who knows what the hell that will mean after Final Crisis
here's a quickie:
Rockband or Guitar Hero and why?
WHITNEY
Rock band, of course! You can involve more people with the singing/drumming options than just those who know how to play a plastic guitar. Plus if you just want to play on the guitars, you can! It's basically guitar hero, singstar, and a drumming game all in one.
LAUREN
Rock band: 'cause this former clarinet player always knew she was born to play the drums.
MARY
I am all about the drums and vocals. Rock Band FTW!
NESSA
I have never played either game but I would have to say Guitar Hero. I've seen it put teenagers into trances that stopped them from being crabby.
ASH
Both.
I know it might make me sound like a spoiled little brat, but I must have both.
RB is more fun by far than GH. It provides the perfect mingling atmosphere. Everybody always has a blast at RB parties. It is also easier than GH.
But GH is absolutely necessary for honing fabulous expert-level guitar skills. How could I show off how effortlessly I can kick everybody's arse on the guitar if I didn't practice by myself on GH? (That, by the way, includes my husband.)
CNG Update!
Here is the news story on the film Nessa just finished. She is the Production Designer.
Helix
It made history and beat Russian Ark as the longest film shot in one take.
here's a quickie:
Rockband or Guitar Hero and why?
WHITNEY
Rock band, of course! You can involve more people with the singing/drumming options than just those who know how to play a plastic guitar. Plus if you just want to play on the guitars, you can! It's basically guitar hero, singstar, and a drumming game all in one.
LAUREN
Rock band: 'cause this former clarinet player always knew she was born to play the drums.
MARY
I am all about the drums and vocals. Rock Band FTW!
NESSA
I have never played either game but I would have to say Guitar Hero. I've seen it put teenagers into trances that stopped them from being crabby.
ASH
Both.
I know it might make me sound like a spoiled little brat, but I must have both.
RB is more fun by far than GH. It provides the perfect mingling atmosphere. Everybody always has a blast at RB parties. It is also easier than GH.
But GH is absolutely necessary for honing fabulous expert-level guitar skills. How could I show off how effortlessly I can kick everybody's arse on the guitar if I didn't practice by myself on GH? (That, by the way, includes my husband.)
CNG Update!
Here is the news story on the film Nessa just finished. She is the Production Designer.
Helix
It made history and beat Russian Ark as the longest film shot in one take.
3/19/08
How do I get him to like me?
hey Mary!
I wanna ask a question regarding a guy in my class. He is well known as the class nerd. And he is the sweetest person ever and we talk in class alot, and I kinda like him. But the prob is, I don’t know how to get to him. His level of intelligence is way higher than mine. That’s what makes him appreciated. Mary, can you please tell me how to get him 2 like me?
thakx
Lilli
ASHLEY
Confidence is key. It's what turns a lame nerd into a cool nerd. It makes all the difference. So don't be afraid to use it. If he isn't even aware that you're into him, you're probably going to have to make the first move. Ask him out or something.
As for getting him interested, try talking to him about comics, or something else that he wouldn't be aware you even had knowledge of--something that he can relate to. Wow him with your nerdiness. And never be afraid to be yourself. My fiance informs me he believes the very first things that attracted him to me were my odd sense of dress and a notebook I carried around that was covered in stickers. (And I was cute.) So back to the confidence thing--you want to stand out and not be ashamed of it. Never be ashamed of your nerdiness.
(By the way, his level of intelligence is also higher than mine, but he's always commenting on how much smarter I am than him, so I'm obviously doing something right.)
NESSA
Befriend him. The girl friendship alone should spark his interest in you. If you still don't have his attention it is because he probably thinks you couldn't possible like him. Try putting your hand on his shoulder and see how he reacts.
LAUREN
You can start by doing some of your own nerd research. Do you guys have similar interests? (I am assuming so) Read the latest in technology and science, one of my favorite sites is Discover!
Look for a snippet or article that you find interesting and bring it up the next time you talk to him. The same thing applies for politics. Ask him what he thinks of the delegates so far. news.bbc.co.uk is a great site for interesting articles and keeps you in the loop of international affairs. For comics and sci-fi, you can always go to a wiki page 'cause lord knows there's tons of info there. If there is something you don't understand during the conversation; i.e. think he's talking above your head, or maybe don't know, just ask him to explain it or go into detail. Probe for information, and who knows, he might be thinking the same about you. If he gives you an exasperated sigh, he probably isn't worth it.
MARY
Honestly, I had a tough time answering this. I think I may be the nerd in the situation. I was trying to think about how men had gotten me to like them. That turned into a sordid night of questionable memories.
I had recently been talking to my friend Rob of PodCaust He is a fairly nerdy equivalent to myself. I am more book, he is more computer. I had observed how his current girlfriend Lesley snagged him over the course of our friendship. I asked her for her perspective:
LESLEY
I've been in your situation. Almost 2 and 1/2 years ago, I liked the guy who was a "nerd". Now I love him, and we have been together for a little over a year. We actually started getting to know each other when I needed help with my computer and we began hanging out every now and then. In the beginning there were a lot of things that he was into that I had never really been interested in (i.e. video games, horror flicks, role playing games, computers, action figures, comics, sci-fi shows - like Battlestar Galactica and Firefly, etc.). In the process of becoming great friends, I gave all of those things at least a chance. I may not have been into everything, but a lot of it I did get into. The things I wasn’t fond of I at least became accepting and understanding of. I am supportive of his projects, like his podcast (which you can listen to at http://www.podcaust.com/ and participate in the forums at http://www.forums.podcaust.com/ – see, I’m supportive). With that said, find out what his interests are, see if you become interested in them as well (at least give it a chance) and DON’T fake liking anything. Above all, I suggest becoming friends first and see where it goes from there. This will build a relationship and will make things less “stressful” (such as there won’t be first date weirdness, at least for awhile). If all else fails, pick up a British accent.
I asked Rob for his opinion too. His response:
ROB
Listen to my awesome girlfriend and the rest of the cute nerd girls. They are usually right. Here's my take on the other end of spectrum. I'm the nerd who happens to be a guy. The one who collects statues (they're not action figures dammit!), the one who likes to wax poetic on the finer merits of Troll 2 (the dance scene is beyond awesome), the one who plays video games and the one who likes to talk into a microphone and spread the word of the nerd (visit http://www.podcaust.com/ and http://forums.podcaust.com/ for all of your nerdy needs!!) Ahem. Sorry about that, even as a nerd I know how to self-promote. :) When it comes right down to it, all I ever wanted was someone that understood me or at least attempted to. Don't be afraid of your crushes' intelligence. If he is a decent guy he will never try and make you feel dumb or put you down if you don't understand something. Chances are, he will love to teach you about all of the awesome things that he is into. That's what I did with Lesley. Not once did she ever make me feel bad for the dumb things I love. She never tried to change me. Which, being a nerd, has happened a lot of times in the past. Try not to act different around him and just be yourself. Try and gauge his tastes in movies/music and maybe invite him to a flick/concert he'd want to see. The friendship angle totally works. No pressure and you get to know each other a lot better. And like my girl said, if all else fails, develop a British accent. Or wear a Princess Leia slave costume. No self-respecting nerd could ever turn that down. Cheers!
There you go Lilli! Thanks for writing to the CNG!
I wanna ask a question regarding a guy in my class. He is well known as the class nerd. And he is the sweetest person ever and we talk in class alot, and I kinda like him. But the prob is, I don’t know how to get to him. His level of intelligence is way higher than mine. That’s what makes him appreciated. Mary, can you please tell me how to get him 2 like me?
thakx
Lilli
ASHLEY
Confidence is key. It's what turns a lame nerd into a cool nerd. It makes all the difference. So don't be afraid to use it. If he isn't even aware that you're into him, you're probably going to have to make the first move. Ask him out or something.
As for getting him interested, try talking to him about comics, or something else that he wouldn't be aware you even had knowledge of--something that he can relate to. Wow him with your nerdiness. And never be afraid to be yourself. My fiance informs me he believes the very first things that attracted him to me were my odd sense of dress and a notebook I carried around that was covered in stickers. (And I was cute.) So back to the confidence thing--you want to stand out and not be ashamed of it. Never be ashamed of your nerdiness.
(By the way, his level of intelligence is also higher than mine, but he's always commenting on how much smarter I am than him, so I'm obviously doing something right.)
NESSA
Befriend him. The girl friendship alone should spark his interest in you. If you still don't have his attention it is because he probably thinks you couldn't possible like him. Try putting your hand on his shoulder and see how he reacts.
LAUREN
You can start by doing some of your own nerd research. Do you guys have similar interests? (I am assuming so) Read the latest in technology and science, one of my favorite sites is Discover!
Look for a snippet or article that you find interesting and bring it up the next time you talk to him. The same thing applies for politics. Ask him what he thinks of the delegates so far. news.bbc.co.uk is a great site for interesting articles and keeps you in the loop of international affairs. For comics and sci-fi, you can always go to a wiki page 'cause lord knows there's tons of info there. If there is something you don't understand during the conversation; i.e. think he's talking above your head, or maybe don't know, just ask him to explain it or go into detail. Probe for information, and who knows, he might be thinking the same about you. If he gives you an exasperated sigh, he probably isn't worth it.
MARY
Honestly, I had a tough time answering this. I think I may be the nerd in the situation. I was trying to think about how men had gotten me to like them. That turned into a sordid night of questionable memories.
I had recently been talking to my friend Rob of PodCaust He is a fairly nerdy equivalent to myself. I am more book, he is more computer. I had observed how his current girlfriend Lesley snagged him over the course of our friendship. I asked her for her perspective:
LESLEY
I've been in your situation. Almost 2 and 1/2 years ago, I liked the guy who was a "nerd". Now I love him, and we have been together for a little over a year. We actually started getting to know each other when I needed help with my computer and we began hanging out every now and then. In the beginning there were a lot of things that he was into that I had never really been interested in (i.e. video games, horror flicks, role playing games, computers, action figures, comics, sci-fi shows - like Battlestar Galactica and Firefly, etc.). In the process of becoming great friends, I gave all of those things at least a chance. I may not have been into everything, but a lot of it I did get into. The things I wasn’t fond of I at least became accepting and understanding of. I am supportive of his projects, like his podcast (which you can listen to at http://www.podcaust.com/ and participate in the forums at http://www.forums.podcaust.com/ – see, I’m supportive). With that said, find out what his interests are, see if you become interested in them as well (at least give it a chance) and DON’T fake liking anything. Above all, I suggest becoming friends first and see where it goes from there. This will build a relationship and will make things less “stressful” (such as there won’t be first date weirdness, at least for awhile). If all else fails, pick up a British accent.
I asked Rob for his opinion too. His response:
ROB
Listen to my awesome girlfriend and the rest of the cute nerd girls. They are usually right. Here's my take on the other end of spectrum. I'm the nerd who happens to be a guy. The one who collects statues (they're not action figures dammit!), the one who likes to wax poetic on the finer merits of Troll 2 (the dance scene is beyond awesome), the one who plays video games and the one who likes to talk into a microphone and spread the word of the nerd (visit http://www.podcaust.com/ and http://forums.podcaust.com/ for all of your nerdy needs!!) Ahem. Sorry about that, even as a nerd I know how to self-promote. :) When it comes right down to it, all I ever wanted was someone that understood me or at least attempted to. Don't be afraid of your crushes' intelligence. If he is a decent guy he will never try and make you feel dumb or put you down if you don't understand something. Chances are, he will love to teach you about all of the awesome things that he is into. That's what I did with Lesley. Not once did she ever make me feel bad for the dumb things I love. She never tried to change me. Which, being a nerd, has happened a lot of times in the past. Try not to act different around him and just be yourself. Try and gauge his tastes in movies/music and maybe invite him to a flick/concert he'd want to see. The friendship angle totally works. No pressure and you get to know each other a lot better. And like my girl said, if all else fails, develop a British accent. Or wear a Princess Leia slave costume. No self-respecting nerd could ever turn that down. Cheers!
There you go Lilli! Thanks for writing to the CNG!
3/2/08
If a zombie apocalypse actually happened where would you go to try to survive and what would you take with you?
If a zombie apocalypse actually happened (and they were slow, shambling Romero type zombies) where would you go to try to survive and what would you take with you? Keep in mind, in this hypothetical question, you have never heard of zombies and neither have anybody else. No one would know what the fuck was happening.
-Rob
WHITNEY
I would bring the Physician's Desk Reference... hollowed out. Inside: waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban. Question: did my shoes come off in the zombie attack? (sorry, I couldn't resist the Dwight reference)
LAUREN
Honestly, my apartment building is surrounded by a steel gate; so I think I could bunker up in the top level of my building. This conversation comes up quite frequently between my boyfriend and I, especially when we were moving out to L.A. Initially, the Rockies would be a great spot, but then we laid our eyes upon our new dwellings- we knew we found the perfect spot to hide out during the zombie apocalypse.
Especially if they were the Romero zombies.
NESSA
I would head to Canada its less populated and cold. I would take guns, gas, food and my man. I've been plotting it for ten years, ask Mary.
You will need to know how to hot wire a vehicle. You may have to abandon your car. Go on foot and that knowledge will help you find another car faster. Know your nearest gun store. They will have what you need and they may have a skilled gunman/gunwoman alive inside who can help you get away. In the case that they are not skilled and are just zombiefied, try and kill them before they eat you.
A bus is nice but it says "If your alive I will save you." If you want to live you can't go around saving people. You will need a small fast car. If you bring anyone make sure it's someone you can mate with. Leave your pets! I know you love them but they are better of without you. Pack quick and smart. Can opener, knives, bats, rope, etc.. Listen to the radio in the car find out what kind of zombies your dealing with. A helpful guide to read before any of this ever happens is The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks zombiesurvivalguide I liked it so much I got a copy for Mary. It addresses all types of zombies and questions you might. Go where it is least populated and a colder climate will slow the zombies even more (If we are talking Romero zombies).
Think me as you will but it's better to prepared.
MARY
First wave of invasion: I would hole up at my work, slightly outside of the big city. You need badges to scan your way through the building. The zombies aren't figuring that one out. There is a cafeteria, a huge supply of bottled water, semi-trucks that could be converted into mass transit vehicles and a roof big enough to land a helicopter on. It is two buildings connected by an above ground tunnel with very heavy doors on either end. I love imagining the zombies outside the tunnel eventually breaking the glass. Of course, the two buildings full of survivors would be separated and have to communicate with signage from the rooftops after that. We would have a live television feed to alert the rest of the world/military that we needed rescue. Hopefully there would be survivors at the nearby news station with access to a helicopter.
Second wave: I would make my way north, north, north! Zombies will freeze solid if it is cold enough.
I have been a bit Wii tarded lately. I have been working at both jobs lots and lots. I am sad that Y! The Last Man is over. I read Ultra Seven Days that Bendis! sent me along with my sweet column prize of all eleven autographed Powers trades. I had read a bit of Ultra before. I liked it better the more I read. It reminds me of Sex in the City. I did not enjoy that show. I do enjoy the comic book version well enough though. Hot lesbian superheroes are a-ok with me. I finally got my hands of White Night paperback of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, which I am reading right now. Powers 28 will supposedly be out this Wednesday. I won't be shocked if it gets pushed back again. Will Deena die? I am betting yes.
Eh- what is new with you, introwebbers?
-Rob
WHITNEY
I would bring the Physician's Desk Reference... hollowed out. Inside: waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban. Question: did my shoes come off in the zombie attack? (sorry, I couldn't resist the Dwight reference)
LAUREN
Honestly, my apartment building is surrounded by a steel gate; so I think I could bunker up in the top level of my building. This conversation comes up quite frequently between my boyfriend and I, especially when we were moving out to L.A. Initially, the Rockies would be a great spot, but then we laid our eyes upon our new dwellings- we knew we found the perfect spot to hide out during the zombie apocalypse.
Especially if they were the Romero zombies.
NESSA
I would head to Canada its less populated and cold. I would take guns, gas, food and my man. I've been plotting it for ten years, ask Mary.
You will need to know how to hot wire a vehicle. You may have to abandon your car. Go on foot and that knowledge will help you find another car faster. Know your nearest gun store. They will have what you need and they may have a skilled gunman/gunwoman alive inside who can help you get away. In the case that they are not skilled and are just zombiefied, try and kill them before they eat you.
A bus is nice but it says "If your alive I will save you." If you want to live you can't go around saving people. You will need a small fast car. If you bring anyone make sure it's someone you can mate with. Leave your pets! I know you love them but they are better of without you. Pack quick and smart. Can opener, knives, bats, rope, etc.. Listen to the radio in the car find out what kind of zombies your dealing with. A helpful guide to read before any of this ever happens is The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks zombiesurvivalguide I liked it so much I got a copy for Mary. It addresses all types of zombies and questions you might. Go where it is least populated and a colder climate will slow the zombies even more (If we are talking Romero zombies).
Think me as you will but it's better to prepared.
MARY
First wave of invasion: I would hole up at my work, slightly outside of the big city. You need badges to scan your way through the building. The zombies aren't figuring that one out. There is a cafeteria, a huge supply of bottled water, semi-trucks that could be converted into mass transit vehicles and a roof big enough to land a helicopter on. It is two buildings connected by an above ground tunnel with very heavy doors on either end. I love imagining the zombies outside the tunnel eventually breaking the glass. Of course, the two buildings full of survivors would be separated and have to communicate with signage from the rooftops after that. We would have a live television feed to alert the rest of the world/military that we needed rescue. Hopefully there would be survivors at the nearby news station with access to a helicopter.
Second wave: I would make my way north, north, north! Zombies will freeze solid if it is cold enough.
I have been a bit Wii tarded lately. I have been working at both jobs lots and lots. I am sad that Y! The Last Man is over. I read Ultra Seven Days that Bendis! sent me along with my sweet column prize of all eleven autographed Powers trades. I had read a bit of Ultra before. I liked it better the more I read. It reminds me of Sex in the City. I did not enjoy that show. I do enjoy the comic book version well enough though. Hot lesbian superheroes are a-ok with me. I finally got my hands of White Night paperback of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, which I am reading right now. Powers 28 will supposedly be out this Wednesday. I won't be shocked if it gets pushed back again. Will Deena die? I am betting yes.
Eh- what is new with you, introwebbers?
2/7/08
What's something a cute nerd girl can't live without?
hi mary,
now that CES '08 is over and apple has made it's new product announcements i'm thinking about electronics. what's something a cute nerd girl can't live without?
chrisw
NESSA
Right now I'm learning that I cannot live without my computer. It's been dead for three weeks. I can't fix it until next week. Without my files, I don't have access to the projects I have been working on. I also realize that I have many friendships that are solely computer based. It frees up a lot of time for reading. I didn't have a computer until I was 24. Now it amazes me that I ever got along without it. I typed all my papers for school on a typewriter. Yes, a typewriter. (If you don't know what that is, you can google it.)
LAUREN
My Zune, cell phone and my digital camera. It is on my person every time I leave the house. You just never know what you will encounter once you leave home.
WHITNEY
I like to keep things simple (if you can call it that) All I need is a camera phone, a computer that can connect to the internet, and an mp3 player. Everything else is just gravy.
MARY
While I would love to have that new MacBook Air, it is out of my price range. I would also like to have a 160gb ipod. I am a poor little Mary though. I cannot afford such treasures. I will be lucky if I get a new television before the great 2009 conversion.
The items I can't live without are my sweet little Nokia 5300 Xpress Music phone, my little ipod Shuffle for my workout time, my Canon Digital Rebel XTi and my desktop compy with a Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor. I can easily live without my laptop. It has had a fried battery port for almost a year now. I seem to do just fine without it.
I would like to have a spanky big new television to hook my computer to so I could get rid of my desk entirely.
CUTE NERD GIRL NEWS!!!!!!!!
Our very own CNG Whitney was in Playstation Official Mag UK with her Clank!
Check out this out for more of her fun fun fun fan art!
now that CES '08 is over and apple has made it's new product announcements i'm thinking about electronics. what's something a cute nerd girl can't live without?
chrisw
NESSA
Right now I'm learning that I cannot live without my computer. It's been dead for three weeks. I can't fix it until next week. Without my files, I don't have access to the projects I have been working on. I also realize that I have many friendships that are solely computer based. It frees up a lot of time for reading. I didn't have a computer until I was 24. Now it amazes me that I ever got along without it. I typed all my papers for school on a typewriter. Yes, a typewriter. (If you don't know what that is, you can google it.)
LAUREN
My Zune, cell phone and my digital camera. It is on my person every time I leave the house. You just never know what you will encounter once you leave home.
WHITNEY
I like to keep things simple (if you can call it that) All I need is a camera phone, a computer that can connect to the internet, and an mp3 player. Everything else is just gravy.
MARY
While I would love to have that new MacBook Air, it is out of my price range. I would also like to have a 160gb ipod. I am a poor little Mary though. I cannot afford such treasures. I will be lucky if I get a new television before the great 2009 conversion.
The items I can't live without are my sweet little Nokia 5300 Xpress Music phone, my little ipod Shuffle for my workout time, my Canon Digital Rebel XTi and my desktop compy with a Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor. I can easily live without my laptop. It has had a fried battery port for almost a year now. I seem to do just fine without it.
I would like to have a spanky big new television to hook my computer to so I could get rid of my desk entirely.
CUTE NERD GIRL NEWS!!!!!!!!
Our very own CNG Whitney was in Playstation Official Mag UK with her Clank!
Check out this out for more of her fun fun fun fan art!
1/29/08
What do you think about the depiction of nerds in Main Stream or any media?
so, ok, in the interest of full disclosure, i feel i should state at the outset that i am ashgasm's proto-husband carbon based critter. I'm the guy that makes her say, "gimme that sweet, sweet bendis, baby." and she knows that i planned to write this letter, but still, I only feel right if i claim my affiliation at the beginning.
anyways...
So, my question has been digging in my brain-meats for some time. We, nerds, look a certain way in film, on television, books, comics, whatever. American culture is media, and goddamnit, it has no love for us, I believe. So what of it, huh? What can be said about the character of our depiction in MSM? The way we are framed (and we are), does it matter? Is it fair? What are the implications, you know? That sorta thing. The way i see it, we get poked in the eye with the shit end of the stick in a few ways:
-The most egregious is that nerds are often presented as nebbish, greasy, socially autistic fucktards, vainly fellowshipping our way to Mount Doom, usually characterized as acceptance by the world at large and warm place in the pants of the one hot chick who acknowledges us.
-Another take on nerds in MSM is as the Magical Negro film trope. We become the above mentioned fucktards who allow everyone else in the world to learn something about themselves, and we get fuck all. Warm platitudes and back slaps, hollow cheers of "NERDS! NERDS! NERDS!" but that's it! The Revenge of the Nerd is all about this. Well, that and a badass synth-pop song near the end. And hooters, can't forget them.
-The last, and this is my most favoritest, is the nerd as a beautiful freak. Napoleon Dynamite, Angus, fuck loads of early John Cusack movies, Sixteen Candles (hell, most of the Shermer, Ill movies), each film has a nerd as star, and the point of the film is watching the spastic, cow-eyed gibbon dry hump his ('cuz the star is often a guy, another misdeed!) way to popularity. And he gets it, not because he deserves it or earned it but by default because that's the story. He has to win.
Exceptions, there are many: Xander Harris, Luke Skywalker, Holden Caulfield, Henry Rollins in Johnny Mnemonic, Patton Oswalt, and everything staring Simon Pegg (Spaced Rules!)but that's not enough.
So, tell me what you all think, or kill this rancorous diatribe with many flames and public shaming. Either way, love the site and love the scathing wit in the Powers letter column.
Simon Q Runaway
ASHLEY
Is it fair? Not at all. MSM nerds are framed by Hollywood's elitist h0rs, the ones who likely played football in high school and beat up actual intelligent kids like you, but could never compete with you intellectually.
I love the Lloyd Doblers and Xander Harrises of media for being realistic and oh-so-cute. I loved Duckie, too, but he was always after the wrong girl. Not that nerds cannot get with non-nerds, just that the non-nerds are usually not worth it. Fuck Molly Ringwald. If she can't appreciate him for what he is, she doesn't deserve him, anyway. Xander, too, was always after Cordelia, when Willow was right there, adoring him, and it's not like she was exactly a wildebeest. Willow was cute! But even Xander, King of Sunnydale Nerds, totally spurned Willow in the love department because she was too nerdy. So, even though I love him, not a lot of sympathy there, sorry. If you go after a girl just because she's got big tits, and that's her only positive feature, you're probably going to get a dumbass who doesn't understand you and gives you gifts of Star Wars: Episode I action figures instead of dressing up as Slave Leia for you for Halloween.
When I think of the nerds I've known in my life, only a very few--maybe only one--has been a social fucktard, and...he's creepy. He's not like his media representations. There are no Urkels. There is a whole category of nerd who really doesn't know how to get along in society, but even they are not as pathetic as what we get on TV. Most of the nerds that I know and love, and there are lots, are smart, are funny, provide the best conversations--because they're usually deep and insightful and always have knowledge that extends beyond makeup and football--they know that all people are different, or are supposed to be, anyway. They're generally just more interesting people altogether because they know that lightsabers and vampires and elves are more interesting than makeup and football. They're usually a lot more like the people you named in your exceptions category. And some few people in media, like Joss Whedon, know how to create realistic nerds.
I love you, honey. :-)
Mary: You can cut out that last line if you removed his disclaimer from the question and it thus no longer makes sense. :-P
NESSA
Good question I'm so sick of the way media portrays nerds and all stereotypes. Although I work in film and television, I have to say that for the most part they do it to every stereotype. If a character is a football player then they are cast as handsome and portrayed with no brains and if the character is a nerd they are ugly and smart (with a pocket protector). They are symbols for the general public to read because they are not trusted to think for themselves. A complex nerd character for the most part is something the networks shy away from. I wish that it wasn't the case. It just teaches our TV and film watching youth to not think for themselves and grow into stupid adults. And why are the nerds always pining for the shallow beautiful person. If the character is supposed to be smart they would want some one that not only is fun to fuck but that is fun to talk to and hang out with. There are so many different types of nerds it is little minded for television and film to generalize us into one type.
If we like a show we need to make it known. Don't watch the mindless shows because you are bored, show the networks that we expect more.
LAUREN
I think what I find most distressing is that there is no lead female nerd characters in the msm. When can I pay my $7.00 to go see a group of girls sitting around smoking a bowl and debating whether it would be cooler being in the Rebel Alliance or the United Federation of Planets? Unfortunately, female nerds get less limelight than the males, and they always look even greasier. And slightly more pathetic. Until someone saves them from their nerdy doom. (i.e. She's All That)
When Spiderman 3 came out, a coworker mentioned how shocked she was when Tobey Maguire was cast for the role. She assumed he should be hunky because he was Spiderman; she thought since it was a superhero he should be anything but Tobey Maguire.(I don't think she knows who Peter Parker is.) The sad reality is that the general public doesn't like to think and it is much easier to accept a stereotype of a sub-culture then to acknowledge the fact that nerds, like other humans, come in all shapes and sizes. We even get laid without paying for it.
At the very least, can't the mainstream media portray nerds as normal people with accelerated interests?
MARY
Lauren, didn't we have that same conversation one morning after working third shift at ye olde home shopping network? I wholeheartedly agree. Where is my female Harold and Kumar? Damn Nessa & Lauren, I think we may have a movie there!
I think the nerd as a beautiful freak is my ulimate fave. We may not always be portrayed well. We still always win. That makes the sting less painful. We are a novelty to the public. We aren't portrayed awesome unless nerds write us. Tina Fey is a goddess. I worship her. I love all of Joss's nerds and nerd women. For the ladies, I loves me some Mary Stuart Masterson as Watts in Some Kind of Wonderful and Lori Petty as/in Tank Girl. (We also have an upcoming Powers related question regarding the character of Watts. Stayed tuned for that CNG readers!) The most realistic may be American Splendor. I don't know how that makes anyone feel. We are all so different. That would be what makes us nerds/geeks/dorks/spazs, wouldn't it?
"So, tell me what you all think, or kill this rancorous diatribe with many flames and public shaming. Either way, love the site and love the scathing wit in the Powers letter column."
-Simon Q Runaway
Gee, thanks Simon! I was emulating Bendis in the column. I read all his work I poured my heart into it. I don't try as hard in this mighty blogosphere. I try to be nice and approachable here. I love nerds. I felt a bit bad about the harshness of the column. Not too bad since some of the folks that write to Bendis are obviously nuts. (Myself included? Hmmm...food for thought.) Nobody that has written to me has been weird, mean or crazy yet. That isn't an invitation. Or maybe it is! A challenge perhaps?
Sorry for that recent lack of questions. The majority of my thoughts and some time have been monopolized recently by officers of the law. I am fine, don't worry dears! I'm not even in trouble. I hate authority figures though. The police scare me. I don't want to talk to police if I can possibly avoid it. I don't trust the man.
Glad to be home and safe away from the 5.0 in introweb land!
anyways...
So, my question has been digging in my brain-meats for some time. We, nerds, look a certain way in film, on television, books, comics, whatever. American culture is media, and goddamnit, it has no love for us, I believe. So what of it, huh? What can be said about the character of our depiction in MSM? The way we are framed (and we are), does it matter? Is it fair? What are the implications, you know? That sorta thing. The way i see it, we get poked in the eye with the shit end of the stick in a few ways:
-The most egregious is that nerds are often presented as nebbish, greasy, socially autistic fucktards, vainly fellowshipping our way to Mount Doom, usually characterized as acceptance by the world at large and warm place in the pants of the one hot chick who acknowledges us.
-Another take on nerds in MSM is as the Magical Negro film trope. We become the above mentioned fucktards who allow everyone else in the world to learn something about themselves, and we get fuck all. Warm platitudes and back slaps, hollow cheers of "NERDS! NERDS! NERDS!" but that's it! The Revenge of the Nerd is all about this. Well, that and a badass synth-pop song near the end. And hooters, can't forget them.
-The last, and this is my most favoritest, is the nerd as a beautiful freak. Napoleon Dynamite, Angus, fuck loads of early John Cusack movies, Sixteen Candles (hell, most of the Shermer, Ill movies), each film has a nerd as star, and the point of the film is watching the spastic, cow-eyed gibbon dry hump his ('cuz the star is often a guy, another misdeed!) way to popularity. And he gets it, not because he deserves it or earned it but by default because that's the story. He has to win.
Exceptions, there are many: Xander Harris, Luke Skywalker, Holden Caulfield, Henry Rollins in Johnny Mnemonic, Patton Oswalt, and everything staring Simon Pegg (Spaced Rules!)but that's not enough.
So, tell me what you all think, or kill this rancorous diatribe with many flames and public shaming. Either way, love the site and love the scathing wit in the Powers letter column.
Simon Q Runaway
ASHLEY
Is it fair? Not at all. MSM nerds are framed by Hollywood's elitist h0rs, the ones who likely played football in high school and beat up actual intelligent kids like you, but could never compete with you intellectually.
I love the Lloyd Doblers and Xander Harrises of media for being realistic and oh-so-cute. I loved Duckie, too, but he was always after the wrong girl. Not that nerds cannot get with non-nerds, just that the non-nerds are usually not worth it. Fuck Molly Ringwald. If she can't appreciate him for what he is, she doesn't deserve him, anyway. Xander, too, was always after Cordelia, when Willow was right there, adoring him, and it's not like she was exactly a wildebeest. Willow was cute! But even Xander, King of Sunnydale Nerds, totally spurned Willow in the love department because she was too nerdy. So, even though I love him, not a lot of sympathy there, sorry. If you go after a girl just because she's got big tits, and that's her only positive feature, you're probably going to get a dumbass who doesn't understand you and gives you gifts of Star Wars: Episode I action figures instead of dressing up as Slave Leia for you for Halloween.
When I think of the nerds I've known in my life, only a very few--maybe only one--has been a social fucktard, and...he's creepy. He's not like his media representations. There are no Urkels. There is a whole category of nerd who really doesn't know how to get along in society, but even they are not as pathetic as what we get on TV. Most of the nerds that I know and love, and there are lots, are smart, are funny, provide the best conversations--because they're usually deep and insightful and always have knowledge that extends beyond makeup and football--they know that all people are different, or are supposed to be, anyway. They're generally just more interesting people altogether because they know that lightsabers and vampires and elves are more interesting than makeup and football. They're usually a lot more like the people you named in your exceptions category. And some few people in media, like Joss Whedon, know how to create realistic nerds.
I love you, honey. :-)
Mary: You can cut out that last line if you removed his disclaimer from the question and it thus no longer makes sense. :-P
NESSA
Good question I'm so sick of the way media portrays nerds and all stereotypes. Although I work in film and television, I have to say that for the most part they do it to every stereotype. If a character is a football player then they are cast as handsome and portrayed with no brains and if the character is a nerd they are ugly and smart (with a pocket protector). They are symbols for the general public to read because they are not trusted to think for themselves. A complex nerd character for the most part is something the networks shy away from. I wish that it wasn't the case. It just teaches our TV and film watching youth to not think for themselves and grow into stupid adults. And why are the nerds always pining for the shallow beautiful person. If the character is supposed to be smart they would want some one that not only is fun to fuck but that is fun to talk to and hang out with. There are so many different types of nerds it is little minded for television and film to generalize us into one type.
If we like a show we need to make it known. Don't watch the mindless shows because you are bored, show the networks that we expect more.
LAUREN
I think what I find most distressing is that there is no lead female nerd characters in the msm. When can I pay my $7.00 to go see a group of girls sitting around smoking a bowl and debating whether it would be cooler being in the Rebel Alliance or the United Federation of Planets? Unfortunately, female nerds get less limelight than the males, and they always look even greasier. And slightly more pathetic. Until someone saves them from their nerdy doom. (i.e. She's All That)
When Spiderman 3 came out, a coworker mentioned how shocked she was when Tobey Maguire was cast for the role. She assumed he should be hunky because he was Spiderman; she thought since it was a superhero he should be anything but Tobey Maguire.(I don't think she knows who Peter Parker is.) The sad reality is that the general public doesn't like to think and it is much easier to accept a stereotype of a sub-culture then to acknowledge the fact that nerds, like other humans, come in all shapes and sizes. We even get laid without paying for it.
At the very least, can't the mainstream media portray nerds as normal people with accelerated interests?
MARY
Lauren, didn't we have that same conversation one morning after working third shift at ye olde home shopping network? I wholeheartedly agree. Where is my female Harold and Kumar? Damn Nessa & Lauren, I think we may have a movie there!
I think the nerd as a beautiful freak is my ulimate fave. We may not always be portrayed well. We still always win. That makes the sting less painful. We are a novelty to the public. We aren't portrayed awesome unless nerds write us. Tina Fey is a goddess. I worship her. I love all of Joss's nerds and nerd women. For the ladies, I loves me some Mary Stuart Masterson as Watts in Some Kind of Wonderful and Lori Petty as/in Tank Girl. (We also have an upcoming Powers related question regarding the character of Watts. Stayed tuned for that CNG readers!) The most realistic may be American Splendor. I don't know how that makes anyone feel. We are all so different. That would be what makes us nerds/geeks/dorks/spazs, wouldn't it?
"So, tell me what you all think, or kill this rancorous diatribe with many flames and public shaming. Either way, love the site and love the scathing wit in the Powers letter column."
-Simon Q Runaway
Gee, thanks Simon! I was emulating Bendis in the column. I read all his work I poured my heart into it. I don't try as hard in this mighty blogosphere. I try to be nice and approachable here. I love nerds. I felt a bit bad about the harshness of the column. Not too bad since some of the folks that write to Bendis are obviously nuts. (Myself included? Hmmm...food for thought.) Nobody that has written to me has been weird, mean or crazy yet. That isn't an invitation. Or maybe it is! A challenge perhaps?
Sorry for that recent lack of questions. The majority of my thoughts and some time have been monopolized recently by officers of the law. I am fine, don't worry dears! I'm not even in trouble. I hate authority figures though. The police scare me. I don't want to talk to police if I can possibly avoid it. I don't trust the man.
Glad to be home and safe away from the 5.0 in introweb land!
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